离愁

再过不到二四十小时，我即将离开我的家乡，回到我的岗位了。其实跟之前没什么不一样的，但是，不知怎的，这一次，竟然有一股很强很强的离愁笼罩着我，难掩心中的难过。我不明白为什么这一次我的心会这么沉重地离开居銮，踏上追求知识的路途。那么的沉重，那么的沉重。。。我快窒息了。

或许，有好多未知数在我家酝酿，我不放心离开。或许，我害怕，面对未来。或许。。。太多的或许了。我不愿再去追寻原因。我心系这个家，我爱的家。不论我多远，你们永远是在我心头上的，离不开的亲人。

Amazing Grace

Have you ever heard of the song AMAZING GRACE?No matter whether you are Christian or not,I believe this would be a touching song..But do you know how this song came by?
This is a song written by John Newton .. IN 18th century of England, It's a era of reformation ... There are unstable everywhere, children lost their education opportunities, becoming child force for cheap pay, poor people everywhere, the elite oppressed the poors .. They were selling dark skinned people overseas to become slaves.
John was borned in such an era.He worked his way out to help the oppressed.He hated the slave system so much!He supported Sir William Wilberforce to fight for the right to release the slaves!By the grace of God,at 1787,Wilberforce successfully released the first badge of oppressed slave!Thus,He wrote this hymn.The story of Sir John Newton were too much to tell,this is just one of them.
This is the version where a singer,Christ Tomlin sang...which touched lots of people.Hope you guys enjoy the meaning of the words and the song.=)


AMAZING GRACE ( CHRIST TOMLIN)
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost,
but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are goneI've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

老友好好

今天见到了老朋友。。终于有机会三个好姐妹在一起喝茶聊天了。真的超开心的！听了去了外国的朋友她在那里经历的种种，我们听到瞠目结舌！短短的一年多里，她经历了还真不少！搬了不下五次家，保证金被骗，遇到古古怪怪的房东，我们听了都为她捏了一把冷汗！人真的是要经过历练才会成长。不要看她去外国读书很幸福，一个人在那里的日子可不好过～
唉～突然有种事过境迁的感觉。。。大家都变了。。。变成熟了，变美丽了，变动人了，变坚强了。。。为什么我觉得我仍没变呢？！唉～～～～～～～仍然软弱，仍然迟钝，仍然寂寞。。新年新希望～真的要加油提升自己罗！

逃

好久不见。今天赫然在街上看见了你，好熟悉的脸庞。看你的那一眼，你，老了好多。可是，最后我还是选择了逃避。我不知道为什么我那么的怕见到你。我不知道。加快脚步逃离，深怕你看见我。迅速地钻入人群中，深怕你叫我的名。为什么？我问自己，为什么要跑？这或许是一个永远没有答案的问题吧！

~4 Years~

4 years.Coming into 4 years.I have known you almost 4 years.Comparing to 20 years,it isn't long,its just 1/5 of my life.However,this 4 years is the most meaningful years I've ever had,the most ups and downs I've ever experienced and the most gratefulness I've ever said.Looking back of the way of how I got knew of you....I would smile.It's not that tough as others..but it took me many years to really know you and accept you.

I admit its not a smooth path to get along with you.most of the time,I would lost in the midst of multitude.I would stumbled.I would let down of you.To my suprise,you never let go of me.Instead,again and again,you held me up gently,covered me with your love.How could this be?I asked myself,"why?why?I dont deserve!" Through it all, when I was almost gave up you,you halted me,saying ," Come back,it's ok that you made wrong,I'll forgive you."

Do you know that what made me attracted to you?Your forgiveness.You forgives.Your love.You never stop loving me.Your faithfulness.Even when I failed you,you never let me go.Your gentleness.When I was heart broken,you touched me.When tears rolled down my cheeks,so soft,so gently you wiped it away.Your grace.If werent for your grace,I wouldnt be what I am today.

Through out the 4 years,what you have given to me had exceed much much more than my heart can contained.4 years,It's time for the little caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly.It's time for the tree to bear fruit.I'll make it a lil cry in my heart.I love you.

Weird dream~

First time remember my dream eh.So I better record it quickly..

Everything was so familiar...Why form 6 ?The scene went back to form 6 time...But the place happened was in THE STORE! Hmm...I saw lotsa old friends walking around..I saw lotsa MPPPU board members walking,happily chit chatting....just as the school just reopened~The classroom was above The Store...o....As for me?

Since when I became MPPPU board member le?I wore my coat and walking on the street.I even stopped by the bus station to buy cha guo for breakfast...>.< The kind May like to eat one..haha....no more long skirt but short one...haha...the weirdest thing was I actually saw my math teacher was hosting a diamond related event in The Store!hahaha......

Weird dream indeed..ANyone can interprete for me??=="

MPPPU = Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar Pra U.For UKM-ers this is something like JAKSA :)

凋零

曾几何时，
我们是无所不谈的，
是交心的。

现在，
即想深谈，
顿也觉得障碍重重。

将来呢？

能回到以前吗？
我深知，
这不可能。

心情交错，
有苦难言。
谁又明白呢？

那痛，
是有种被骗了的痛，
伤口不深，
微微的，
但久久不愈合。
偶尔，
仍一阵一阵地刺痛。

微笑着
来掩饰我的痛
等待它愈合的那一天。

告诉我

那凋零了的花

能够再崭放异彩吗？

其实我也不是那么有耐心～

一直以为我的耐性是不错的。谁知今天才知道我错了！

我舅舅今天带了我两个小表弟回来。哥哥是个智障儿，除了啊啊地喊之外，就是爱吃自己手指了。弟弟活泼可爱。哥哥不断地在喊，不停的喊，手一直把抓到的东西往嘴里塞。好久不见他们的我，顿时显得有些手忙脚乱地照顾哥哥。好声好气，大声哄骂，他都不依，拼命的喊，因为他根本听不明白。我的手被他抓到破皮了。顿时才发现，原来，我一点儿耐性也没有。

小表弟真的把我弄得束手无策。我根本不知道该怎么样让他安静下来，不在咬东西。我索性跟弟弟玩，因为弟弟很听话，是个正常的小孩。这就是人现实的一面。哈哈！这时，我才突然发现，我舅舅和舅母好伟大！要养育一个有智力障碍的孩子，需要的耐性比一般父母大多了！我那短短的一个小时就没法子，要放弃了。我舅舅舅母竟然把他带大！我想，这是成为父母后才能拥有的耐性吧！

这让我体会到其实我是很幸福的。健健康康，身体无缺，又有那么关心我的父母（虽然罗嗦了一点！哈哈！〕这是最大的幸福了！

至于耐性嘛，是要磨出来的吧！路还长着呢！

Declaration of 21~!

Hurray!I am 21 at last!

Well~21 years old..I'm 21!

It is indescribable to become an adult.

Well,I know nothing much has changed,

but the significance of turning 21 still sounds in my heart.

Turning 21 , there are 3 wishes which i have made

1) ********

2) ********

3) ********

Of course cant tell,if not how it will come true?hahaha=)

After all,my greatest wish is that all my dearest friends and family are saved,safe and sound always,with joy and health be with them!What else can I request of Him but this?

改变

“。。。只要心意更新而变化，叫你们查验何为神的良善，纯全可喜悦的旨意。” 罗马书 12。1

祢说
旧的已去 新的已来
祢说
要相信祢的大能更新我们
祢说
做祢的门徒 背起十架 跟随祢

我要
用心去改变
我要
让祢的活水再次充满着我 浇灌着我
我要
相信
当一切可能到达极限时 就是祢的不可能的大能运行的时候

赞美祢的名，荣耀你的名！～

Dipersiasuikan~

Tat friday i went over to kajang to stay at my leader suue mian's house.As we are going into the lift,my another leader,yimfong accidentally dropped a key which was holding in her right finger because she used that hand to hold on the key which was going to close."king! king!kiang!kiang!" So,the key dropped all the way in the "celah" of the lift...Though we had used torch light to shine but we couldn't find any key..

Monday morning,due to two of them had to work,me,kia ing and wan jen volunteered ourselves to go find the key.we decided to find it floor by floor."which lift we used the other day?"I asked."erm..I think it's this one la."Kia Ing replied.So we went in lift A,startting from floor G stopping by every floor to look for the key..

Every floor we stopped,wan jen would kept pressing the open button while me and kia ing will find..We squarted,we lied we sit...our faces nearly kissed the floor~So we went all the way till floor 10..As the door opened,two security guard standing infront of us.Kia Ing still sit on the floor.

"AH Moi,buat apa kat sini main main lift?" Oh sweat!main -main?if got time we would go to sleep rather than main main here la...However,i din blurted it out...and..we were being "escorted" to the management room at ground floor.

The lady in the room was rude and didn't really bother about our losing keys.We knew that is useless to ask for her help.So,after apologizing,we went back.Oh dear,We dont have the cards to go inside the gate!~AGain,we waited till some one to come out and only we went in...

We took the lift beside(Lift B) to go up.This Wanjen said,"Hey,i remembered that day i was pressing button like this ler.not like that just now!" *fainted* O...all this while we have been searching the wrong lift and kena diperxiasuikan oso....haha=p

Anyway,the key was still yet to be found.So,we decided to take action again...Hmm..how bout midnight today?>.<

One day trip to Putrajaya~

woo~last nite at KTSN this sem....hmm. thanks to Yim Fong, we managed to go to Putrajaya to test the dish which will be served in Malaysia National Conference..haha...5 of us,irrelevant little...with whole bunch of pastor's office stuff and pastors...eating together...hahaha=pwao~

see..the water bottle oso will feel cold~

Then,we took a walk around the conference center..all i can is it is HUGE!from one end to the another end..have to walk a long long way ~so cant afford to lose way o..if not,maybe sesat inside cant come out edi..=p

see how long is the escalator?=)

at night,went to Adam's house for caroling,joining in as an "passerby"..haha=p..felt the atmosphere of christmas is just around the corner...All those songs reminded me of past years where I joined the caroling..all the fun I had....Hmmm...too bad this time no chance to join the fun..maybe...shall I go back to Klg to sing carols along with my youth group?hahaha=)

What would you do if tomorrow ends?

Just watched 2012 today!Indeed it is a great movie to ponder with.The value of mankind,how unpredictable and beyond control of man.It cant be denied this time will come,it is just the matter of time and we will never know when it is,not tribe of MAYA,not even Jesus,but only GOD the FATHER knows.In mathew 24:36 "But about the day or hour no one knows.not even the angels in heaven,nor the Son,but only the Father."

It really challenged me.What would you do if you are one of the victims in that movie?If you had known the end of the day is coming,what would I do?Will I still get hold of my books studying?Will I go shopping?Will I still sitting right here typing my blog?When it comes,no one can escape just as the tsunami swept across the land,even the physician who first discovered this phenomenon died.Despite his great contribution,he cant save himself after all.This is life.Unpredictable yet painful.

I really moved by the spirit of the father in the movie,for his love for his family.countless time he risked his life to bring his family out of the danger and its amazing..even for Yuri,the billionaire who spent one billion just to board on the ark,sacrificed himself at the last moment of his life,giving out all his strength to push his son unto the ark.It's amazing!This is the time where we see the true self.I cant guarantee I have the boldness to give my life in exchange with others,but it really pulled me into deep thought.Didn't Jesus give His life in exchange to pay our sin and for our freedom?

The bible says it clearly in mathew 24 :6-8 "6You will here wars and rumours of wars,but see to it you are not alarmed.Such things must happen,but the end is still to come.7Nation rise against nation,kingdom against kingdom.There will be famine and earthquakes in various place.8All this are the beginning of birth pains."

Didn't wars in every corner on this earth nowadays?The international portion of newspaper always filled with news of wars.Nation against nation,kingdom against kingdom.Where there is war,there will involve two or even more nations,killing one another.Famine and earthquakes ....Aren't they happening more and more frequently?Almost everyday we can see such news in the newspaper!

This is only part of the signs that was shown by God to Mathew of the end time.It's getting near,but we don't really know when.What would you do then IF tommorow is the end time?

So,be ready friends,because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.(mathew 24:44)

I love my friends.I love my family.Just as Jesus loves you.Think,what you will do if tomorrow ends.

驾车惊魂计！

今天中午乘出门前练习了一下驾车，那我就驾着小红在kt里绕啊绕的。。佳音就坐在我旁边。。驾着驾着，雨势慢慢变大，到最后，大到根本是看不见前面的路。。心想，还是驾去食堂避一避雨好了！就在驾着的途中，突然间，砰！好大一声，把我们两吓了一大跳！好大的一棵满粗树枝准准打在我的车镜上！感谢上帝，幸好没事，镜子也没破。真不敢想像，如果打下来的是一根树干，而非树枝，我看那，小红准被砸扁，我和佳音变肉酱了～

我的假期？

说实话，一开始，当迎风要求我留下来帮忙MNC的时候，我很不愿意，我很挣扎。因为每一次看见我的朋友一放假就冲回家去，归心似箭的我，何尝不是呢？但是，神再次的挑战了我。虽然奉献是痛苦的，但愿你的名被赞扬！于是，我留了下来。。。

感谢上帝，让我留了下来！玩够了以后，我真正开始了我的假期。首先，与教会的朋友跑到了金沙河，抱了一把吉它回来，他的价钱让我很心痛，但是，就当作是一种投资吧！我“男朋友” 不乖，一直走音，幸好我的小组有免费的tuner帮我调。这是我回到最初的爱的第一步。。心里暗暗向自己说，一定要成功！

礼拜天，去做礼拜。牧师的传道再次地提醒了我，我一直以来很忽略的一个方面！仿佛从睡梦中被点醒一般。。晚上，在我主长家过了一夜，他教了我们吉它，才知道原来吉它一点都不容易弹！听了一千八百遍，始终听不出个头绪。。是不是我音乐天分不够吗？不过，是应该学习阿杜，坚持到底～！

礼拜一，5。50 am 起身，回到宿舍，就去跑步～是时候把疯狂那几天吃的给烧了吧！过后，教会一个弟兄专程到宿舍教我，佳音，秀琼吉它～哈哈！他真的很厉害罗～换了好几种弹法，才找到最适合我们最简单的弹法。。整个过程好好笑喔！（佳音在嘛！〕有学了好多，但是，我太慢了啦。一直抓不到感觉。。。

晚上，第一次出席祷告会。心里的负担，通通地转告给上帝知道。这个祷告会真是让我再一次地体会到与上帝关系密切的重要性。。

礼拜二，又跑步去了！为什么我假期比我上课时还健康？哈哈～中午帮忙处理事物，对着电脑，看着excel，才暗暗庆幸我以后不是坐在办公室的人。真受不了！对着那密密麻麻一千六百多个名字的名单，看得我眼冒星星～

晚上，赶去了praise and worship jamming。不是唱歌的料的我，也硬着头皮上台高歌。key对的了没有不说，有没有走音。。。哈哈～可想而知。。应该多去唱点卡拉ok..

第三天了。加油～

A visit to EYE DEPARTMENT ~

I went to eye department of HKL for check up today.Hmm....the receptionist was not very polite and din't give a very clear instruction to me where should i go exactly.Waiting blankly and finally i was called for visual acuity testing.Very fast,and sorry to say ,not profesionnal la..

Stepping into the ophthalmologist department,I saw lots of different people sitting there,with different emotion on their faces..Now only i realised that thre are actually lots and lots of people in Malaysia who are facing eye problems.And they desperately need help.As an optometrist,what I can do is really limited as I cant provide treatment for them.The most I can do is to check and diagnose for them.....Suddenly my mood turns grey*.*

However,think another way round,since I am already in this field,I want and I have to make use of what we had learnt to help those in need.Maybe,there are still have tons of people who don't really know the importance of taking their eyes,OR they don't have the ability to do so.I want to believe much I still can do...After all,I don't want to end up to be an "optician" in a spectacle shop.This is what i fear of now as sometime man has no choice but bow to reality of life.

Anyhow,just do my best to graduate first before thinkimg the next step to go...

By the way,I went in for 40 minutes,30 minutes was used to wait and 10 minutes used for check up,5 for VA testing,5 for meeting the doctor.In fact,he used 30 seconds to settle my case,by saying for a further check up...and my check up is 23 Feb 2010!Ooo.........ok...Kind of lazy to go anymore...just let my eyelid be as what it is ba...:)

A touched suprise!~

First day after exam~
Cant wait for long...Headed to Sg Wang right after our last paper..
Haha......Finally.the suppressed shopping gene finally being expressed out lo~
That's not the main point..

At night,we went to setapak to have dinner with my coursemates...
Well,when we reached there,Lynn wanted to go buy tong shui...So we teman her go lo...But I saw a guy who looks exactly like AH MAI standing at a corner of the shop wor...

So I shouted,"hey!look!Its Ah Mai!"

But weirdly,nobody agreed to me that the guy is Ah Mai.All said my eye got prob recognised wrong people ady.I dont doubted ah..coz i have aging eyes @.@ haha =p Well,coz the incidents of recognising wrong ppl did not happen one time liao...So i just followed them lo...As I passed by the guy,he faced backward,not moving...hmm..weird."It's real Ah Mai ah...got such person looks like him meh?"

Well well,after all our coursemates arrived,we had our dinner...great fellowship together...^^
After chit chatting suddenly they sang "birthday song" wor with cake held from the waiter...
WoW~I was so suprised ! I never thought they were going to celebrate my bday just now.Hmm.....Very very touched by their effort to tipu me..Hmm...Thanks ya you guys..ah mai,yun,may,lao po,lynn..for planning all this....i really really touched....haha=p

Thx to all the coursemates who joined us and sang bday song.....thanks...love you guys so much!

Btw,it's proven that my eyes is still "young" coz that guy standing there is AH MAI....*Ah Mai,luckily you didnt vibrate that time,If not,I would be sure is you...haha=p*

sorry~

Did I really say something wrong?I'm giving constructive opinion out of good intention hoping to really help...who knows...Is it becoz the way I voiced it too over?If it is,I really want to apologise as I never have any intention to step on people to glorify myself.All I wish to do is to encourage the people around me..Maybe the way I talked hurt you somewhere somehow,please forgive me,this is the real last thing i will ever do.I will reflect carefully what i had did and change.

树欲静而风不止，
子欲养而亲不在。
人往往都是要在失去后才学会珍惜。
我真的是被吓醒了
亲爱的外婆，
你等我，一定要等我回去。
不论你变得多么的难以伺候，
我一定会好好孝顺你。


愿神保守你，赐你平安，长命百岁！

Never ending Grace

My heart is shedding tears
My soul is hurt
My world falls apart
My sorrows overflows
Why are you cast down o my soul?

Walking through the valley
I saw beam of light
Shining through my face
saying

"My grace is sufficient for you,
for MY power is made perfect in your weakness."

You hold me
IN the palm of your hand
I know that You are the Faithful
Your name is Comforter
who discerns my sorrow.

WHat else can I say
but to thank YOU?
Forgive me Lord,
Rise me up again
to soar with You in eagle's wing.
I want to fly high
with liberty
with victory
with faith.

Reflection~

Is it that difficult to practise out what you had learnt?O yes,I can tell you absolutely YES.It's not like the mathematics where you learnt the formula and apply it in the questions.Life is much more complicated than the toughest exam in the world.Its about experiencing,without knowing which "theory" applicable to your life.Wait a minute,before that,what you need to do is to TRY AND ERROR,and sometimes,not everything that you got throughout years will benefits your life.

That's why I say,life,is tough.Where we deals with human race,it gets tougher.IT must be HANDLE WITH CARE,in avoidance of any broken of glass heart.This is tough as along the way you hold ppl's hearts in your palm cautiously,somewhere somehow,you will let yours to fall freely from your palm.What to do with that then?WIll there be another person coming to stick my heart together again?

Temptation.This is the reality of life.Cruel but true.Its tough to have clean hand and pure heart in this polluted world.But somehow,I have found some true care and love in this cold world..Man is just so easily attracted by the benefits that ppl gave.ALL the same.I stand in a position where I cant see clearly.I want to walk further to see clearly.Be cautious not to washed away by it.

It takes time to learn.Something we had already known long before but its just so hard to master.However,put effort to it ,it shall be succeed.So i will try.Try to do more and amend my mistakes.Correct me,if i had done anything wrong....

THis is just daily reflection of my recent life.

至朋友～

这是我少年时最爱的一首歌，就算到现在，我还好喜欢。。献给我的朋友们。。。





细水长流 粱文福

年少时候 谁没有梦
无意之中你将心愿透露
就在你生日的时候
我将小小口琴送
最难忘记 你的笑容

友情的溪水慢慢流
流到了你我的心中
曾在球场边为你欢呼
你跌伤我背负
夜里流星飞舞
想像着他日的路途
晚风听着我们壮志无数

年少時候　誰沒有愁
滿腔憤概　唯有你能聽得懂
每當我失意的時候　
你將那首歌吹奏
琴聲悠悠　解我輕懮

＊歲月的細水滿滿流　
流到了別離的時候
輕拍你的肩　
聽我說朋友不要太惆悵
霓虹縱然再囂張　
我們的步履有方向
成敗不論切莫將昔日遺忘

＃多年以後　又再相逢
我們都有了疲倦的笑容
問一聲我的朋友　
何時再為我吹奏
是否依舊　是否依舊

重唱　＊,＃
人生的際遇千百種　
但有知心長相重
人願長久　水願長流　
年少時候

考完发马过逻辑后的日子

最近我有一个很不好的习惯，也不是最近啦，考试时最严重。。那就是赖床！赖到。。妈妈的morning call，我胆敢接了，挂了，又继续睡。。。天啊，这坏习惯真把我害惨了。。话说今天我妈咪就call 我起身了，谁知，根本起不来，七点半才爬起来！本来要早起读一读昨晚没读完的发马郭逻辑，可惜啊可惜！终究读不完，因为八点半进考场了！结果呢。。。

作文部分，难！我又blur blur 的，把dopamine 写成 norepinephrine...把loop diuretics 写成k sparring channel。。总之是有好多我本该会回答的问题，到最后，我回答不出。。该打。。啪！但是感谢上帝，昨晚我问到pharmacy 的朋友什么是adrenaline reversal。。他的note写的字，我虽一个都不记得，我记得的是我朋友用最最最简单的解释方法，所以，不管那么多，就把它写出来吧！哈哈。。都不知道为什么会突然去问。。

所以呢。。。我回房后，就开始看戏睡觉。看了the proposal。玩面书，读一妹儿。。形同放弃似的。。。休息够了，振作！现在是晚上八点，该继续作战到底了！加油！！！

微笑。一切

那一刻，
我拼命的把泪往我肚里吞，
告诉我自己不可以，
我不可以哭。
要坚强，要控制，要接收。
我会用微笑来面对
用轻轻淡淡的心
来应付
不能强求了。

谢谢你轻轻滋润了我好久都没流泪的眼睛，我会好好的。

实习考试，难！

我的第一次实习考试

考试前，我拼命祈祷不要让我拿到某某老师监考，因为往年经验，被他监考到的，都命丧他无情的手下。怎知，我想上帝是想给我考验吧！我心里想着。。“不要” 的，在我踏进去的那一刹那，硬生生的站在我面前，等着我去送死。。来吧！谁怕谁！

他们说“静狗咬死人”。。。此话不假。。咱们拭目以待吧！整个过程当中，他好安静，不出声。让我很不安。不过，我还是股起勇气继续做。嗨。。谁知，这时，cross cyl坏掉！衰唉！也怪我啦，不敢要求去换。。。这导致我做到的cyl power 与之前找到的差了十万八千里！又来不及做回去了。。还能怎么办呢？接受罗。。。

至于ophthalmoscopy，她终于出声了。但她一出声，就是教我们做oph...并说“这些东西，你们重考时要知道做，知道吗？！”呜呼哀哉！！！连预见都不用预见，已知我们fail 定ophthalmoscopy 了！唉。fxdilah 啊fxdilah....请你手下留情吧，让我至少能够及格其他的项目。。。

我的第一次实习考试。结束。结束！！

Running time~

Time is really running out~
I really need to buck it up!
Looking back this semester
What did I achieved?
Whats on earth am I busying for?
Yes I need to give a thought to it
Life wouldnt be colourful and meaningful
if we dont truly learn to appreciate it
Life wouldn't be that marvellous
if we dont truly learn to treasure it
It's all about how we perceived
and the purpose in our life.
Have you found it?

Time is truly running out~!
Buck up! =p

心情。记

最近思绪有点乱，写不出长篇大论，每一次就只是好像msn上面那样短的post。。所以，我把这乱成一团的思绪整理了整理，合成一篇。。

1〕曾经天真的以为一些东西是不被动摇，不可能被改变的。没想到，到最后，我不得不低头承认有些东西已经在你不经意之间慢慢的变了，发现时已无法再回到原来的样子了。无奈的接受事实。

2〕在三天内,我竟然听到了三次一样的讯息。这代表着我应该做些什么了！

3〕现在的我还没有危机意识。。考试逼近，我仍然逍遥。有谁能够骂醒我？？

4〕累累累！好累！好想睡上二十四小时！

5〕我被标志成“永久”不能捐血了！因为我有一点点地中海贫血症。。好难过！很伤心咧！

挥刀断水水更流，举杯消愁愁更愁。愁？不愁？

我会再让我自己陷下去吗？我身不由己啊。不想拿，但又职责所在。怎么办？

让我发泄！～你这疯婆子！

I never see so teerible woman like this...It is true of the saying that the more knowledge you gain,the more humble you will become.....This woman CRAZY woman!Do you think you are so great?Helo,you are just a freshly graduate and you are barking here and there!Who are you to scold us like this?We are undergraduate also,who are just younger than you few years....True knowledgeble and 有修养's person wont bark like a dog there...Look at Dr.Hxshira.Have you ever see her shouting??!But you! Your action and your word will only make yourself even low class and totally unwise.Do you know our effort to make program success?Do you know that our friends staying outside making effort to come back?DO you know that we are actually working very hard,especially the committee....meeting till 2-3 am ...just for so called YOUR programme?Do you know their hard work?Have you ever appreciated them?Instead of encouraging,you have chosen to distress them....Instead of helping,you are destroying their confidence.....I really dont understand.
拿着鸡毛当令箭的女人，得到你是我的废罗是我的不幸！我认命了！我为着那一整个board感到心痛，因为是你，让大家都难过。

时尚女王～生日快乐！

至天下最美丽女人～

Happy birthday~(I type in English so that Ting Shan can read) haha...

Though i know its a bit late....BUT I still wanna post this...

Hmm...Happy birthday ya...thanks for being such a lovely friend and 时尚friend to me...haha...STill remember before i know you very well,the time when u always went to school with block J girls...all i can remember is the time you said you wanna left opto to go to study engineering in CANADA!That time...hehe...I took it so seriously and wished you goodbye o!How could you cheat me....T.T haha..:)

Later on,i realised that ,"O...this girl ah...戏弄us le la..."till you sold ticket to wei jin....haha...we really 见识到你的功力。。haha.....Not only this...your 自拍功力也高深。。。请多多指教！Anyway....it's glad that you joined H block to school after that...Haha...no need run that far liao ma..And you brought us a lot of laughter and joy to us...never did i know that you are so OPEN,so SHI SHANG,so HAPPY GO LUCKY....(totally different from when you are in exam mood)...=p hehe....

Hmm....though we knew each other not too long...but,at least we had gone through thick and thin together....some UNFORGETABLE memory rite?:) You are a great girl with big heart...Be confident to yourself and trust me,you can achieve greater things when you really believe that you can make it!Though a bit late...here am I wishing you :~

永远时尚

永远开心

早日破蛋！（不管是菜馆，还是面馆，我们都支持你！〕=p

muakz...

Time flies.

How time flies!~so fast i have to bid goodbye to my beautiful hometown,my comfortable bed,my oways ready channel 8 and my never lacking source of fridge.....woo~I will miss you very very very much till my next return...wait for me ya...before that i have to deal with lots of challenges....Miss YOU.....my home.....:(

Mission Camp 2009!

This holiday,I went to mission camp in Kuantan and K.Terengganu...It was a great experience to me,where I managed to explore Kuantan as we were given task to search for the history,culture and origin of a particular road in Kuantan.Moreover,we were asked to cook a significant dish which represented that road!As for my team,we were given Jalan Beserah,where we actually travelled till a kampung nelayan Beserah and we actually bumped into Astro crew shooting drama there!haha=)We ran into a kind old grandpa (89 yrs old) who willingly to tell us all the history of Kampung Beserah.....

Me,Kia Ing,Alex

Here is the Kampung

Do u know the two standing by the doors?

Berbuka Puasa

Besides,we also trained to invite public to join HOPE KUANTAN 9th anniversary...by asking the ppl along the Teluk Cempedak beach to come and have fun with us....

I want to be the one!

The teaching was great!Mission was being taught in systematic ways,starting from the understanding through out formation of GO team till organising team.....I had learnt how to be a leader in submission to God's calling...

In K.T,we were even challenged to go out to Chinatown of KT,searched for local delicacy and to learn a tradisional dance.DUe to raya season,not many shops were opened and we faced some difficulties to but special food,needless to say local dance...So,without any solutions,some of the groups decided to go to Pulau Duyong!hahaha=p to search for inspiration!(though its just an excuse1hehe)

Chinatown KT

PUlau Duyong~

At night,we had steamboat togetehr in ministry house...wow,30 people sitting together eating together,laughing together....we,UKM late comers as we came from Karen's house,were "disesarkan" from the circle as there was really not enough place for us to sit anymore...So we had to sit out of the circle and wait for sis in the circle to take us food...hehe:) Though we were not in the circle,we joined in their laughing together...:)

AFter teaching session,we set out to Pantai Batu Buruk!It was 10 pm at night and it rained dizzly out there...However,nothing can halt us!We went there,Praise and worship beside the sea...Standing in the darkness,facing the sea,sang praises unto Lord,it was an amazing experience.Just like standing in awe of God's wonderful creation of Heaven and earth...We had sharing,appreciation and prize giving ceremony....What a gladful time together.Bro Elroy and Steven also baptised in the SEA that night!Exciting!As for us,I managed to find "blue tales" on the beach...little shining blue light on the beach everywhere....=p

It ended that night and i went back to Klg on the next day's night...I admit that at first i was quite worry and reluctant to go for the camp as i had lots of work undone..But,thank God,I didn;t withdraw last minute...Now,I could say i never regret to join,as it was a great experience for me after all!I got know with a lot of brothers and sisters for other care group,where normally we seldom meet with each other,didn't know that they can be so lively!:)

my team!Weibiao,jennifer,hoeghee and me!

I also got know more about Kuantan and KT,where the work of God moves.....as for me,mind and heart refreshment is vital for a greater accomplishment!=)

I'm tired.

若

那天，突然想起小学时唱的一首歌，曲调轻盈，很是触动人心。

愿与我亲爱的朋友们共勉之：

若我 是一朵路旁的小花

开放在阳光下 乐无涯

我要轻轻的吐露 芬芳

让人知造物主的伟大

他即不轻乎 那小花的容表

必然更将我的生命 看为重要

若我 是一朵路旁的小花

我要让人知主的伟大！

若我 是一只林中的鹊鸟

飞跃在树梢间 多逍遥

我要活泼地高声 歌唱

让人知造物主的奇妙

他即不轻乎 那鹊鸟的曲调

必然更将我的生命 看为重要

若我 是一只林中的鹊鸟

我要让人知主的奇妙！

曾几何时，我是一个那么自卑的小孩，长的虎背熊腰，对自己很不满意，一点点安全感都没有。我第一次唱这首歌时，就是音乐老师教唱的。就跟着唱吧！多年以后，再次想到这首歌时，不用几秒，那歌词竟然清清楚楚出现在我眼前。现在，我才能领悟到这歌词的意义。就算我长的怎样都好，我，仍是我，是主爱的我。一朵小花，一只鹊鸟，他都照顾,更何况是我们？我感恩，我仍四肢健全，比起那不健全的小孩幸福了！

纵使全世界遗弃了你，主不会放下你。人总是会有孤独的时候，遇到挫折的时候，但上帝是信实的。他会伴你走过人生的低谷。朋友们，不要灰心，振作起来吧！前方的路虽然迷蒙，无法看清方向，但，你要加油！你一定会找到属于你的一片天空！

喜悦吧！

今天是很忙得一天，好多事发生，好坏参半，但我不想一一详谈。委屈？生气？好玩？无奈？混乱？思考？两难？ 享受？背叛？开心？郁闷？有些发生了，忘记了，有些根本就没有发生。无特别心情，只想上来打几个字。就是有一股闷气把我拉来这里。不知要从何说起。我要说，我没有！没有。千言万语，总比不过沉默来得好。所以，我还是安静一点好，不需要解释。我了解，我明白，但我无法改变，只能说抱歉。

过去几个月，我似乎变成了容易受伤的女人。思考后，我觉得是因为我的想法不对，偶尔太消极了。。这是不对的。你无法控制别人对你做的东西，只能接收。用甚么心去接收它，就决定着你到底会看的开与否？神给我是一颗喜悦的心，不是消极的。 主说：
要常常喜乐。
不住地祷告。
凡事谢恩。
因为这是神在基督耶稣里向你们所定的旨意。
所以，坚强起来吧！喜乐的心，生命就会快乐。
感恩在众多我认为是问题的问题中，我的问题是小的。我一定会解决！:p

哦，对了，有时候，还是少说正经话，多说废话。因为废话不伤害感情。

1st time ever retinoscopy exam!

Today just had my 1st retinoscopy exam....from 9 am till 11 am..i nvr pay attention to wat the lecturer taught about pato and pharmacology....However,till the end...this shows that nervous cant help in the test..

I was the first group to go in for neutralisation of model eye...the lecturer just said "sedia?"havent ans already shut down the light....Givenn 10 min to neutral really not enough!I havent start adjust the model eye by the time she shut off the light....shaking all the way till the end..haiz .....its confusing and complicated for the axis to change last minutes eh!!!!

For human eye pulak...haiz...given high myope dummy lens and its tough!
i saw "with" movement with 4.50 D already but why?why?C Fatimah saw neutral at 5.25D?1 D difference!know la......after knowing my partner did totally accurate...i lagi devastrated....its not that i dun wan to share her joy...but i really sad at that moment!ACCURATE!oOoOo.......T.T

So as a result,i dunno.I went back room and slept all afternoon.

P/S: sorry if anyone of u not understand all the term im using,its my practical exam....

定时

如果明天
我就即将离开这世上了
我 会不会在二十四小时里
把愤怒化为饶恕？
把悲伤化为喜悦？
把怨恨化为慈爱？
我会不会
拉下脸皮 去向我曾经对不起的人
道歉 请求原谅？
这一切的一切
我会看淡吗？我会
带着它们离开？

如果明天
我就即将离开这世上了
我身边的朋友
会不会怀念起我？
想起我时
泪水 轻轻的划过微扬的嘴角？
还是 根本无法记得我的脸庞？


凡事都有定期，天下万务都有定时。
生有时，死有时。
栽种有时，拔出所栽种的，也有时。
哭有时，笑有时。
哀恸有时，跳舞有时。
抛掷石头有时，堆聚石头有时。
怀抱有时，不怀抱有时。
寻找有时，失落有时。
保守有时，舍弃有时。
撕裂有时，缝补有时。
静默有时，言语有时。
喜爱有时，恨恶有时。
争战有时，和好有时。

当生命摆在死亡面前
一切都显得那么的
虚无缥缈
还在意些什么？

注：我知道你们一定会大喊“大吉利是”。。但我“百无禁忌”，因为生有时，死有时。

回家记

这几天回家，很享受，见到了老朋友，一起唱k，悠闲的坐在old taste喝茶，一待就待了三小时。。呵呵。。现在是礼拜天六点正，我还没有读retinoskop。。。不祥。。哈哈～

不过，最近回家才发现，原来我家最近好像面临了一些些小问题。看见妈妈自己喜欢的，都不舍得买，该买的如牛奶补骨骼，也不舍得，看了又看，就买不下手。但妈妈爸爸仍然很舍得买我需要的。。。以后，我也该省一省了，买一些爸妈喜欢的，而不是我喜欢的。

明早回KL了，好舍不得哦！

Moon cake~

复杂
这是我现在的写照
眼见了
心就乱了
好多好多事
涌上心头
沉默 无言
澎湃 热情
反复不定
拼命压抑着
一直在压抑着
不解开吧
或许 时机成熟时
就自有分晓。

残酷逼近～

残酷的实习考试要到了！一天天的逼近，却又无能为力，无法做些什么的。没法练习，就没有经验，没有经验，就没有信心，没有信心怎么会考好呢？唉，真的没有练到也。。。就好像。。。
你还不想上大号，就把你推进厕所,逼你坐在马桶拉给他看！好啦，我知道这很恶心，但是，我只可以想到这个比喻啊！唉。。。

曾想过，回家乡，进去一间眼镜店，要求借试镜片，但。。。哎呀，脸皮太薄了！

怎么办？怎么办？就这样办吧！祝我好运罗！

受伤

今天，一个朋友说了一句话让我很受伤，很难过。

或许你不知道你这句不管是有意还是无心的讽刺威力有多大，但，肯定的是，在我身上的创伤不小。你那句话等于否定了一直以来我所给予的。你真的了解我的挣扎吗？让我有感我好像真的印证了你所说的。

但是，我想对你说，虽然你的话在我心里的伤已经造成，但是，我不会生气你，因为我爱你这个朋友的程度多过我想生气你的程度。时间会证明一切，到底是你说的对，还是你误会了我。
我告诉我自己，今天太阳下山前，我一定会原谅你。我说到做到。

我恨我自己
无法兑现我的承诺

我恨我自己
随波逐流

我恨我自己
抵挡不住诱惑

这是我
最弱的一面

让我在剩下的几天
把那仅有的一点点承诺
补偿掉吧！

生小病了～

终于，挨了那么久，我生病了。不是什么大病，就只是咳嗽喉咙痛。。但现在流感肆虐，难免会怕怕，不是那么倒霉吧？？更何况现在流感变种了，如果它二度来袭UKM，这时候的我，还能抵抗吗？深思。。

咳嗽很讨人厌，因为它总是在不适合的时候出现。。。晚上也猛咳的，感觉就快把脾脏给咳出来了。喉咙痛跟加难过，好不容易好了，又来。。。真拿它没办法。。。但也怪我自己，没什么戒口。。一点点活该啦。。哈哈。好，回去BSMM拿药水喝。

考试来了，我又一直没精神读书，一直想睡，读不到几页，就倒了。不不，我不能这时候生病倒下，一定要加油。他的恩典，是够用的。打起精神来吧！

无题

复杂的心
何时才能够沉淀下来
恍然
在闪烁之间
那念头一闪而过
就那么快
但 深深地烙在了脑海
它 始终还没有到位。

我必须学的～

三思而后行。

Clinical duty in BANGI~

Last thursday went for duty clinical booth pesta convo in bangi....ah mai,lao po,izzah,yc,hau wei went together.We skipped our physiology occular class(missed may may's presentation:c) to go to bangi from 1pm to 6pm.

We took 12pm bus and the bus "shaked" all the way to bangi..the seat was vibrating all the time and both me and tshan dizzy dizzy till got down the bus..To avoid dizziness,we didnt sleep as we knew that sleeping will make it more dizzy..

Upon reaching there,we walked a distance to reach a familiar place,where I just been to few weeks ago ,dewan gemilang....haha..Right away,we started our duty...wearing our lab coat and get everything done..

At the beginning,we were quite free hanging around,playing among ourselves,taking photo...Who knows,one hour later,people started to flood in..not the student,not our own people,but the public!We started to check the whole eye check up non stop from 2 to 6.30 pm...whew....that's tiring!And, we met with different kind of patients,wnd created lots of jokes..haha

Ah mai measured Accomodation with RAF rule on a patient,but sadly,the patient cant see clearly even at furthest distance.He doesn;t believe other can see clearly also.So,he just GRABBED the rule from ah mai,our optometrist of the day and do the test on him!Wa seh..."You can see meh?I bet you cant"*swt*

Another case happened when i measures visual field of the patient.She is a mid age malay lady.She was supposed to look in front while im doing the test.I would show my fingers from different direction and asked whether she saw it or not while she remain looking in front.(for your info,this is to test your visual field,that is how wide you can see besides your primary position of the eye)However,her reaction really made me lol la...when i tunjuk my fingers from side,she said she could see it.WHY?because she kept looking at the finger!Of course she can saw it la...haha...Though I tried to explain to her many times,she still cant understand....BUt luckily till the end,she was enlightened(dunno why) and we managed to finish the test successfully(wat a release)haha...This really stretched my patience not to get worked up so easily....haha:p

It was a tiring day...Upon reaching Kt,i went for tugas in BSMM room...And i fell sick after that.But after all,it was a good experience for us to acquire practical experience on our clinical skill,though there are still much much much space for us to improve.....So,as a result,tomoro Im going to improve our clinical skill again lo~gambateh!:p

A Crazy Day~

Today we had a crzay day....our class started at 8 am in the morning till 10.30 pm at night!wiew!What a hectic day!

8am till 11am : Klinik primer....when we learnt to use retinoscope,which is quite hard for me to use.....confused.....undecisive which power to use......distance too far......but,thank God,my supervisor,Dr Zainora is super good de....hehe:) this is the 1st klinik that i did without trembling hands...

11am till 2pm : Supposingly i was having ophthalmic class...but It was cancelled.So,i went back to my friend;s apartment after lunch.....Took some rest and I didn't manage to sleep bcause i pi pok pi pok with ah mai....had a nice chat with him and discover lots of things....:)

2pm till 4.30 pm : here come the time wasting time management lecture..as usual,sitting behind,doing our own stuff....

5pm to 6.30 pm : Hubungan Etnik....Though i din really see our hubungan that harmony....Sorry i din know the lecture content today coz i didnt listen to the lecturer at all!It's too bored and I langsung dont know whats he talking.....

6.30 to 8 pm : rest time,waiting for dinner,and took a nap.....before the dinner arrived..long time din order rice le.....haha..finally can eat it again!not bad not bad!haha....optometri/2 first dinner together!

8pm to 10.30 pm : Pharmacology class....Dr Rohi too geng le...His lecture was actually very interesting and i already tried my very best to concentrate on his lecture...but ....He spoke super fast de....I couldnt really catch soome of the points that he mentioned.Towards the end,I already saturated with all the muscarinic and nicotinic receptors...which made my brain full and overflew....

So u think this is my day?

No way!it didnt end just like tat!

10.30 pm to 11pm : took taxi home...RM 5.20...heart ache,especially when i got know that there was actually a bus fetching kt ppl home....("<)

11pm to 11.55 pm : meeting for kempen derma darah

12 am : though its already a new day....but i still counted it in as yesterday..Finally i was at my room.Took a shower and ready with stuff....

12.30 am : here i am sitting infront of laptop,knocking on the key pad to produce this post lo..*yawn*

Hmm......What a day!A crazy day but i survived!muahahaha~

Thank God that I the person returned the book...Finally....can relief le....She finally return on the last week of the due date.....Praise God!:) Wanjen and my wallet no need to make a hole le...haha:p

曾几何时，你的出现让我感到不安。我不知道原因，也不想知道，为什么我们之间那变化这么大。我不想像小孩一样，和你争宠。这种事我不做。你需要依赖，我成全你。希望你是真心交我们朋友，不是有何意思，我想，我会把真心再拿出来给你。时间会证明一切。

Happy Birthday Ting Shan -Jie!

(u gave this pic to me when my bday...now i give bc to you~haha:)

As Usual....I wan to dedicated this post to my dearest lao-po in UKM:~

TING TING SHAN SHAN!

Blessed birthday to you!Im really fortunate and blessed enough to know you,a true and caring friend in ukm....You are so lovely,so cute,so loving,so kind and so lorheng....till a point that I really felt that I cant live without you....in opto....haha:)

Still remember our times when we usually talked till 1-2 am in the morning?still remember all our heartfelt talk?no need to cover anything and felt free to talk anything from the bottom of our hearts....I still miss the time u know?a lot a lot...When we shared our tears and joy together in your room ,my room....

Still remember our time when we like to stuck in your room eat honey stars?applying nail polish and mask?especially before an event everytime?we chat like nobody's business and we laugh out loud......we share our beauty tips and we learned new method of nail polishing.....Do u know that I miss that a lot?

Still remember the time when we used to go to school together,go cafe eat nasi goreng ayam together,go jogging together?sama-sama caught the bus,chased after it, and sama-sama stuck in macD...all the sweat that we have shed together,rain we had been drenched together and time we wasted together.....Do u know that I miss that a lot?

Still remember the time when we study together?in Library...in my room...out of no where you would pop out and we will start chatting till forget about studying....hoho.....I miss that a lot...

Lao Po~Really wanna thank you for letting me to have such a wonderful memory in KTSN and in campus.(not forgetting others who created this memory together too!)You are really so dear to us and you always have ways to make us laugh...You are mature(in some way?haha)and you are caring,which nobody else can overtake you...And...you are a generous girl who always contribute your honey stars.....In your birthday~just wanna wish you blessed birthday and may you always be filled with abundance of love,joy ,peace and happiness in your life....:plove you always and let us continue this journey together lo...:)

Gala Dinner 2009~

昨晚是一个美丽的晚上。因为我们都参加了一个晚宴。有几个好朋友也都一起出席了这个一点类似慈善的晚会。虽然并没有很隆重，但是，整个晚会下来，是简单而亲切的。我非常之兴奋，是因为我的几个朋友们都出席了，能够与我一起分享我们，学生组庆祝一周岁的喜悦。他们能够知道我一直以来所参加的活动，全都在昨晚播放。很高兴能够与他们分享。也让他们知道HEART Association到底是什么东东。。

so excited taking pic with nigerian brothers...

虽然所谓的buffet到最后变成了中式菜饭，或许让你们失望了，但是感谢上帝，真的感谢，我们受厚爱，八个同学里，一半的人得到了幸运抽奖，而那四个里，两个是大奖！这真的不是意外。哪有那么平均的意外？哈哈～但也不是说我们作弊啦。。。是神听见了我们的需要吧！他真的有够好的，恩赐了我们这么多意外的收获！我真替他们感到开心！但很可惜，有一个朋友很渴望得到大奖，但始终擦肩而过。。。对不起箩！哈哈。。下次买多几张票吧！

opto at gala dinner

所以～我想讲的是，我亲爱的同学们，感谢你们的出席，支持我，让我好感动，也让晚会增色不少哦！突然间，我想起了阿麦给我的一首歌，“生命中的朋友”。。。回来，播了它，听了一遍。。。我也不知道为什么会想起那首歌，只知道朋友，在我生命里，是很重要的一个元素。朋友们，不管你曾出现在我人生中哪个阶段，我只想让你们知道，我真的很爱很爱你们，我并没有忘记我们一起渡过的酸甜苦辣。正如歌词里所写，你的出现，让我不再感到孤独。。你的关怀，让我得到希望。。。谢谢你们！愿我们友谊长存！

In memorial of Pastor Sunther...

I reminded of dear Ps.Sunther today...He had left us a year and sometimes I wondered how he did over there,in heaven?Hmm..must be sitting at the right hand of Lord Jesus ,enjoying the feast...:p
I still remembered last year,when I first received the sms about Ps's death during anatomy lecture,i suddenly felf struck by thunderstorm.WHY?Once I thought is a joke from someone else.But,I kept receiving the same sms news for many times.WHY?I just talked to you,I just shaked my hand with you,and you just prayed for me dearly before I left Kluang.Everything that you have done is still vividly kept appearing on my mind that time.Yet,they just told me,you had left this world...

I couldn't understand,because i thought that you still have so many things to be done on this earth.Your church,MYPG,family.....and everyone needs you!especially ,Pastor Lydia,Davian,Ethan and Devina and A.O.G members!How can God take you away?How could He??I asked God this question many times.I felt sad for Ps Lydia,your wife,who has to take up the whole church and family alone from that day onwards....

To my suprise,Ps Lydia was calm to accept your away.She was a strong woman in God.She knew,she knew where you were going,and the assurance that you,already being fetched by the LORD back to heavenly home.This made Ps Lydia felt a bit comforted despite the painful fact that you left this world.From sadness to calmness,i also accepted the fact that you had left.God loves Elijah too much and He fetched him away before his death.I 'm sure God too,love you too deep and wanted to let you have good rest after so many years of reaping of harvest.

Your impact to Kluang community will never be forgotten.What is left undone is already being continued.Dont worry.I believe there are still a lot of people who saw the vision where God placed it in their hearts and continue to fight this journey.

Though you had left for a year,you are still dearly missed.Looking forward to the day that we meet again.

P/S: why I didnt take any photo with you?I cant find any now anymore...

My room!

FInally~after waiting for so long....my room is complete now!:) yesterday the guy finally came and fix my cupboard's door...after so many time urging them...hehe:)yeah....let me bring u all tour aroung my room ba...:)

sorry...a bit messy...havent tidy up yet..haha:)remember used to be 3 layered wall cupboard?now only left one...:( dunno how to squeeze all my things inside...

The chair looks good,but after few mins sitting on it...it will be very very painful la..my butt dont like...so i put a cushion of it:p

My bed!My favourite furniture of all....haha:)

Cupboard...big big de,wooden de..good de..but its too high!==" 5cm to the roof!I cant really reach the top part oso....but nice to keep all teh things la...haha..:)

huh...this...small notice board....too small..and i havent decorate...will decorate soon...like lynn,fill it up with all the pictures!:p

I try to capture the whole scene of my room,but no matter how i try,the best is i only can get this ......=="

ahh....I "took" an extra table from bilik bacaan yesterday whereby it can make my poor little study table longer by connecting them....huhu...:p

梦醒时分。

是你的就是你的，不是你的，强求也没有用。不要为了一次随口的承诺，逼自己去承担。不要逼自己。或许真的是不能，就是不能。努力过了，还是原地踏步。是时候放弃了吧！别再执著这那可笑的梦。该醒了吧！

糟透了。

谢谢你们！

第三天，

我们自由了！很感谢大家这几天来的关心，不管是sms,msn, facebook。。。谢谢你们陪我聊天，安抚我，你们的鼓励，替我看新闻报导，帮我买东西，告诉我最新消息，没话找话聊。。

你们每打的一行字，都是那么的窝心，那么的体贴。在这时刻让我感受到人和人之间那微妙的关系。尤其当你徘徊在未知数当中，互信，互利，鼓励是何等的重要。我真的很感动。。。原来，我不是孤单的！不是我肉麻，这是我想要感谢你们的！

感恩有你们的陪伴。真的感恩！我会好好的。下星期见到我时，我还是一样的废，一样的欠打，一样的慢。:)

第三天～还我自由！

第三天

一整天的duty + volunteering work...已经筋疲力尽了。开始觉得喉咙有点痛，因为太干了，所以时不时就会有几声干咳。。什么？？咳嗽？喉咙痛？难道。。。choi!别自己吓自己了！因为最近一直吃热的食物，活该喉咙痛啦！是的啦！下午听了一场无聊之极的taklimat，那教授在台上公然咳嗽，还不盖嘴巴，吓死人了！但是，随后，校长的报告更加的吓死人！我们～我们～我们终于自由了～学生们可以回家了！不用再翻门，闹大逃亡了！

但是这对我可不是一个好消息。随后的八小时陷入了痛苦的抉择当中。。。我的pm以上，荧幕上马上一闪一闪的，都问我回？不回？啊～我不知道～一大堆东西顿时把我的思绪狠狠地打乱。。回？就能解我思乡愁，让父母放心，回家享受。。。不回？不想把病毒传播出去，尤其duty过后，接触了一些生病的学生。。。好像有好多东西没完成耶。。回？不回？回？不回？啊。。。救命啊！

就在这时，一个朋友出现了。铛铛～宛如救世主一样的。告诉了她我所有的原由。。虽然最后他并没有实际的给我建议，但我不否认她的话，对我来说，还蛮举足轻重的呀！深谈了一番，方知其实我，很。。。形容到此为止。剩下的自己猜吧。

经过了内心的挣扎，终于，基于种种考量，我决定了！我不回家了！对不起我的父母，我知道你们牵挂着我，但我真的无法确定我身上到底蕴藏着多少这病毒咧。这是原因之一啦。当然我也没我说的那么伟大，我在这里，真的可以完成很多东西（希望如此啦〕。所以，我答应你们，我一定会好好照顾自己，一有空，就会回去的。对不起！

H1n1病毒已夺走四条人命，还剩下好多人正在搏斗着。不能再冒险了。祈祷吧。希望疫情能够获得控制，病患能够康复。

第二天～

隔离第二天

恺：心情平复了，如往常一样,没异样。

娴: 对啊，只不过我都不认得人了，因为，人人都带着口罩。

恺：生活太无聊了！除了上网，根本不知道要干嘛。。想读书，翻了一翻，又盖了回去，睡觉算了！哈哈。

娴：总之就是感觉在悠长假期一样。。一点点推动力也没有。

恺：天啊！这是什么时候啊？！竟然还这样。。紧急时刻，大家都全副武装，是时候趁着假期把所有赶不上的课都给吞了！

娴：但是，就是提不起劲来嘛！

恺：不该只顾自己啦。那些生病的学生也好可怜。全都被隔离在block 6 咧。而且，刚接到消息，好像有六宗确诊病例！流感真的杀了进来！

娴：是啊，感觉死神就是那么的靠近。你一定要好好照顾身子！

恺：对，也好感动一些朋友的关心，问候，还记得我们这些被关的同学。。。这个时候来得关心，让我好窝心哦。世界上还是有温情的！

娴：你扯太远了吧？不过这是一个考验啦。一定要平安渡过。

恺：走，去吃饭了，待会儿，抓两个学妹来练习practical好了！

娴：今天可以不要再吃nasi kelabu 了吗？

对不起，恺娴实在是太无聊了。请原谅他。

流感来袭，我被隔离！

好人心惶惶的一天！今天一早如往常一样上课。。。到校后，izzah接获sms 得知KTSN 有H1N1病历，必须被关闭！当下，说真的，心里有一点点高兴，因为可以回家！明天的quiz和拜三的ujian selanjar又可延后！嘻嘻。。。

岂知，谁知道事情好像越来越严重，把住k1 的人都紧急传了回去，被隔离了。。好可怜啊。还以为可以回家了。。广播消息又反反覆覆，一下说可以回去，一下又说不能，一下说集合，一下又说散开。。。我们就像没头苍蝇酱乱转。。心情从原本的兴奋到后来有种“显掉”的感觉耶。。

直到后来，终于证实了我们被隔离了！不能回家了！一开始好生气，难过，因为住外面的朋友们都回家了！但可怜的我们，却得留在这可恶的地方！但反过来想想，其实，虽然不能回家很痛苦，但是，与其自己可怜自己，不如趁机好好的休息，也不用舟车劳顿的回家。在这里也一样。就当作提早的study week 呗。要往好处想，心情就会开朗许多吧！（好，我承认这是我自己安慰自己的话〕..

现在十一点四十八分，我上网十二个小时了。哇。。。这也算是我的消遣活动之一吧！喂，回家的朋友，多多on9跟我聊天啦，我们会闷死去的咧。。。

虽然，那五十起疑似病历害到一千多个人隔离，但是，我还是希望不要有人真的得到这H1N1较好。希望他们都能好好的。

幸福的定义

今天很早就到了学校处理事情，因为学妹用我的名字借了一本书。他拿去复印，谁知，那复印的阿嫂没经我学妹同意就把书借给另一个人！现在搞到我们两一个头两个大！硬着头皮问图书馆理员怎么解决，当下就被训了一顿！唉，怎么那么倒霉啊！大不了，赔钱呗！

心情超差的。一直觉得近来逐事不顺，好倒霉哦！东西不见，踩到猫x，无辜被训，又让我砰“钉子”！真的图钉耶！什么嘛？最最最不可思议的事竟也发生了！痛死我了！但是，下午去了cf,看了一个短片，才知道我自己的埋怨，牢骚，如果要跟这人比起来，简直是不算什么！

有时，我们看不到所拥有的，感恩自己还好好的，往往把一些人和事当作理所当然。相反，我们常常看到自己多不如意，一点点小事发生，就心情不好了。这是我们的天性使然吧！

短片中的主角，天生没有手和脚,但他从不埋怨，积极向上。同时还鼓励他人向上。那，我们，四肢健全的，有没有做到他一半呢？看了，你就会知道，其实，我们是多么的幸福。简单的活着，就是一种快乐。

必看：http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAuY5ZKlIpQ

生日快乐，康妮！

康妮同学，生日快乐！嗯，没礼物送给你，那就把这篇post送给你吧。。。还记得第一次真正认识你是在贾斯玲的房间。那时大家都在很勤力的抄资料，也不知你说了什么话，哇。。。一鸣惊人！大家都被你说话的哲理方式佩服得。。。无话可说！从你嘴里出来的我们都把他当成至理名言。哈哈。。

过后，认识久了，又看见了你另一面。托静宜buddymate的福，才能更加的认识你。你的人真的是nice 到。。。太好了！不可思议。但是，有时，说起话来又那么的有魄力。。。所以我说，你跟你的buddy真的是超像的。亲切且不失魄力。。。

犹记你那长长直直的头发，好飘逸，好迷人。（但现在这短发也好适合你。清爽，活泼。〕眼睛又大大的，皮肤白白的，人又好好的。

真的希望你在将来的日子里，能够开心渡过，
难过的时候有知心人陪伴，
困难的时候有贵人的相助，
欢乐的时候有朋友的同欢，
疲乏的时候有宽厚的肩膀，
感动的时候有温暖的拥抱，
开心的时候有灿烂的笑容，
无时无刻健康与你相伴。
啊，对了，还有一样，
大学二年赶快破蛋！哈哈！

你常说我只看到buddymate没看到你。我很抱歉让你有着样的感觉。现在，我是真的真的只写给你喔！生日快乐！

J.N 谈

J.N 过了。1。0 正式告了一段落。学姐瘾也应该过够了吧。这一个星期，一直被人呼学姐前，学姐后，还真过瘾！哈哈。。。buddy 也收了。心也该收一收了。

不过，这一次的1.0，我真的很开心。不是因为学弟妹，而是我又再次的看见了我们这一badge coursemate 不见了好久的东西。团结。虽然，我们被third year 骂了过后才醒悟，但至少在那几天里，我看见了我们为了学弟妹，再次把我们在当年的1.0的精神给体现出来了。大家和睦共处，互相合作。多么好啊！这也算是让第二年办1.0 的原因之一吧！希望这一次，能够真真正正的把猜疑解除，大家和睦共处，不分彼此。。。

至于学弟妹们嘛，感谢你们付出的努力和辛劳。每一个表演，我们都看到了你们的用心。我们都很满意。我相信你们的付出是绝对值得的。欢迎每一个家庭的小八弟！俊豪小八弟，欢迎你进入我们家！:)

学姐好！

终于，我正式升级为“学姐”了。经过了一个星期的签名活动，希望新的学弟妹们能够好好的认识所有的学长学姐们吧。。。对这一届的juniors,我是有褒有贬的。。。有些学弟妹的的确确彬彬有礼，讨人喜爱。但有一些。。。haiz...真叫人失望！虽不至于说话大声，但态度仍然傲慢，没礼貌。。。

所以在选buddy 时，无可厚非的，有些学弟妹就成了遗珠。因为他们自己并没有为自己竖立起一个好的形象啊！选buddy的过程，就不便在这里提了。但是，还是希望我们第二年的，不要为了学弟妹的事情，在彼此心里留下心结。毕竟这是一件愉快的事。虽然结果有时有点出乎意料，可是，大家还会是好同学，好朋友。何必为了学弟妹伤感情呢？不值得啊！可怜有些朋友得到的结果，但已是成了定局了，无法改变了。。。就让大家一起把这个活动搞好，好好的疼爱我们的“下一代” 吧！:)

Update from Bangi~Minggu Mesra Pelajar

Just a quick update from me....currently Im at UKM bangi helping out in Orientation for new badge of juniors...This means that I have came bc to KL for more than a week already....This two weeks...I have a lot to share,but i am lazy and no time to type ..hehe:)

Actually its fun being here,taking care of the juniors....and very "shuai qi44" wearing the BSMM baju korporat...wa...looks professional...but actually im not really skillful la...haha:)However,this MMP really stretches EVERY single PC's patience,ability and power to the maximum...What we usually thought of cant achieve,we made it here,for the juniors.wow....everyone almost become superman,superwoman,one person do two ,three sekretariat's job due to insufficeincy of the PC...but BSMM relax a bit la...:)

Hmmm....just want to mention,juniors this year very very blissful liao...they are not being tortured like what we had gone through last year..yet,they complained too......what happens to teenagers nowadays?haiz...now i can understand why the PC asked us to lari cepat!cepat!back then.... And one more things,KTSN...160 guys ONLY out of 500++ new juniors...where are all the guys???for time being,Opto has 3 chinese guys,and about 10 chinese girls.(subject to change as got opto juniors thought of changing course.)...a bit of reverse situation with my badge last yr in term of races.....Opto friends....have to share buddy liao lo~

This is the fourth day.and there are 4 more days to go...gambateh lo~my leg not listening to me anymore le.T.T

寂寞。最后一夜

最后一夜。我在我美丽而悠闲的家乡的最后一夜。
夜晚
多么的宁静
我听到了我的 心跳声
那么一点点不舍
那么一点点紧张
那么一点点担忧
一切的一切
错综复杂的情绪

回忆着 美好的假期
虽简单普通
但每一天所做的
我仍然心存感激之情
感恩
平实的力量
简单的平安
足够的休息
美妙的交际
愉快的旅程
信实的保守

难忘的曾经

温暖的回忆

虽然
有遗憾 有后悔
有可惜 有活该
但是
也有珍惜 也有快乐
也有回忆 也有不舍

前方 那么的模糊不清
接下来的三个星期 一个学期
不知道会怎么样

茫然 无措
但 我相信
积极的面对
正面的期待
潜伏着无限的力量
他给予的带领
是我的指标

最后一夜 还是忍不住

胡思乱想。

就最后一次吧！

倒数～

终于，进入了倒数阶段。开始倒数：一天！干净利落。过了明天，我的假期正式结束了！还有点不舍游手好闲的日子耶。。。

失眠的夜

夜深人静，躺在床上，眼睛闭了又开，开了又闭，根本睡不着。唉，又失眠了！因为想在回KL前，把我的作息调回去，故这几天都早上床睡。。。无奈，失眠好痛苦喔！精神疲惫，眼皮沉重，但，脑子里却aktif的不得了，想东想西的。

既然如此，就顺便回想了一下我这个假期到底做了什么？抱歉，除了看戏，睡觉之外，真的好像没做到什么建设性的事咧。对了，有做了几张生日卡，准备送人。我头脑简单，所以，设计也简简单单的。嘻嘻。。

hmm....真的有点感慨也。两个月就这样被我虚度了。后悔？一点点啦。圣经说“心灵固然愿意，但肉体却软弱了."对啊！太正确了！我的肉体容易被身边的东西所引诱。本来这假期我定了很多计划，但到头来。。。。一一没达成。因为，我精神上很想去做，但，肉体上又很懒惰。这，就是人的惰性吧！

夜晚，是多么的漫长。

加油罗！

感谢上帝赐给我的成绩。说实话，真的，没有达到我的目标。我知道我对我自己的要求很高。但是，我想他会赐我这成绩应该是有原因吧。让我好好回想这真的是我应得的吗？这个sem，我真的努力了吗？主，我仍然感恩你赐我的。所以，我想你还是给多我了！我不会为自己找借口。这成绩，我要荣耀你的名，感谢你的保守同在。下个sem，我一定会更努力的！加油！

what about this......

Today my mum went to renew her shoping center“The Stxre”’s member card. Well,at the counter,I saw one of the Malay lady worker was separating something out of a stack of cards.Getting near to her,Oh I see!She was separating the participating lucky draw entry card to THREE stacks according to name…

Come again?name? Yeah,It’s name!Those with BxN and BINTx one stack,those name with three characters one stack and…those name with ap/al one stack!Ei!How coincidently that the THREE stacks represent the THREE major ethnic in our country!Isn’t it that “AMAZING”?What for?Hmm…The answer is clear la.Oh no,no,Its never “clean” .

Hopefully...This situation will change...But when?

P/s:Thinking back,I suddenly remember how about these name like Udok Stephen,Merlinda Chalang(our dear local ethnic),Angeline Jolie,Brad Pitt…What about them?Who says they cant take part in the lucky draw?pity them…

镜鸿啊镜鸿，你简直是给我出难题啊！你看，现在玩出火了吧？怎么收拾？你父母不让你读书了！让你去做工了，正中下怀吧？你又后悔。早知今日，何必当初？道歉吧，说不定还有机会回学校。就说出口“对不起”有那么难吗？叫你好好反省，你不听。唉。。。。

Don't call me please!

I don’t like.I just don’t like.Dont ask me why.hmm…You can say that I’m weird,but…I just don’t like to……receive phone calls from others except my family members.I really don’t know why.I just feel uneasy and afraid when somebody call me.

Maybe……I’m afraid to guess whats the person going to tell me over the phone…the next few seconds to minutes tortures my mind…maybe…since that incident happens,I scared of answering phone call…maybe…I scare of answering call from certain people…I scare…of hearing voices from them…Maybe…so many maybe…but who knows which one is true of me!

Undeniable but sorry to say that,sometimes I purposely don’t want to answer the phone when somebody call me.I must confess that it does happen before.I’m sorry.But sometimes ,it’s real,I didn’t see that you call me…That’s why most of the time my phone setting is in vibrating mode only.I want to escape.Escape from hearing my phone ringing....

But somehow,I don’t have such phobia feeling when my family members call me.hmm… weird rite?I know.If Lynn scares of moon,then I could say that I scare of receiving phone call…UNLESS I know what you are going to tell me or i have no phobia seeing ur name appearing on my phone…Rather I much easier with SMS-ing…so next time,u can SMS to me rather than CALL me unless it’s really emergency…

Till now,no medicine can cure due to no cause of this phobia.All the best to me.

爱美不要命！

谁说女人上美容院是去享受？给我站出来！对我而言，上美容院是一场恶梦！

曾经有一位朋友在班上送给我的生日卡上写到：“二十岁罗！要保养哦！”hmm…为了不让他那句话得逞，今天，去美容院做facial。。。天啊！每一分钟都是煎熬！太可怕了！一开始，美容师先从洁面开始，那步骤还算ok 的。做过护理的朋友应该知道有一部蒸气机器吧！那一部机器弄得我无法呼吸，频频偷偷把脸侧过去，为的就是得到一点点空气。方知呼吸，是十分之重要的！

到了“挤暗疮”环节。。。美容师用了一直类似清理耳屎的器具，不断的在我的脸上，每一个部位又按，按了还不够，他还用纸巾用手挤。挤了好像发现有些没出来，他还有刺的，刮的，通通来了！天啊！想象一下，如果你有清理耳屎的那一枝东东，试试看！一个部位和另一个部位相差不到o.5公分！哇！一开始按额头时，还能够强忍。当他易位到脸颊时，真的是痛到。。。。。。飙泪！但她并没有高抬贵手，想说轻一点的意思，反而，力道十足，我猜早餐，她应该吃得很丰盛吧！hmm…算她还有一点点良心，帮我擦眼泪。。

过后，为了帮我消炎，她用药水弄湿了cotton，敷在我脸上！我无法形容那一种刺痛！好像。。。好像。。。好多枝细细的针同时插在你脸上，又拔出。。。一直重复。。。真的好敬佩那一些每天上美容院的太太。只有最后敷面模环节稍稍的让我轻松一点。冰冰凉凉的，很舒服。

原本一个半小时的疗程，竟然在我脸上做了三个小时！整整多了一倍！是我的脸难搞吗？我不知道。我只知道，做完后，我脸是不能见人的。又红又肿，太恐怖了！希望它快快消失，能够变的好转一些。(因为明天约了朋友！〕

俗语说，“世界上没有丑女人，只有懒女人。”我想多加一句，也有不怕痛的女人！为了什么？爱美呗！真的是爱美不要命！我想全天下的女人会同意我吧？能够让皮肤变的更好，痛那几个小时，值得啦！好痛！真的好痛！不只在我脸上，也在我心上，因为钱包失血过多，现在还找不到血来输。唉！希望我不会再像上次那样花了冤枉钱，结果，脸都没有好起来！

所以，下次，请不要说女人去美容院是享受！至少，我不是。

六月～炎炎的夏日，冷冷的心

六月的第一个晚上，有点忧郁，有点感伤，又有点纳闷。没有月亮，星星却又寥寥无几地在这夜空下一闪一闪的。六月了！时光飞逝啊！炎炎的六月，就算到了夜晚，还是那么的热。闷闷的。

六月，代表这假期，我已过了一大半了。代表,我在家里的日子，真的不多了。距离不到18天了。我，又要回到了那令人厌恶的吉隆坡。有点罪恶感，有些惭愧。我，这个假期在作什么啊？唉。人生苦短。不能再浪费美好的时间了。不能消极，但要积极。这样，才不会有遗憾。谁又能料到，离开这世界的那一天，我们到底做了我们该做的事，而不让自己后悔吗？

好想写些什么的，做些什么的。但，又鼓不起勇气。后悔，我不想在字典里找到你。但，你似乎不放过我啊！六月啊六月，你会让我好过吗？

蜗牛！～

雨后的天空，没有彩虹，仍然细雨纷飞。发现了一只蜗牛。也不知道它到底从何而来，为什么平时都不见的蜗牛，每每出现在雨后。那么的慵懒，紧紧地“黏”在树叶上，一点一点慢慢爬。好慢好慢。。。蜗牛～你要爬到什么时候？你要爬去哪里？你为什么出现？唉！幸好你不是出现在法国。

“一片”大学问～！

今天妈妈拎了一袋面粉，几棵葱回来，我就马上知道他要煮什么了。Hmm..这是我们一家人不想吃饭时，最喜欢吃的“晚餐”。（很不健康哦!不要学姐姐！哈哈！）妈妈又要煎“面粉糕”了。

汤面粉糕（俗称板面捏的）吃过，干的也一定吃过，煎的，没尝过吧？突然心血来潮，跟妈妈拿了一些面粉，想做一做甜的面粉糕，好像pancake那样。这么刚巧，有牛奶，鸡蛋，白糖，就成就了我的Pancake!本想与妈妈一较高下，看谁煎的漂亮，好吃，结果。。。。。。

可想而知啦，我简直是班门弄斧啦！姜还是老的辣。妈妈煎的色相味俱全。火侯控制得恰到好处。我咧？哈哈，太没耐性了！妈妈一片需要二十分钟慢火，我？可等不了那么久。加大火，想让它快点熟！没想到，简单一片面粉糕还有大学问！结果。。。

我的？嘻嘻。我自己吃得倒很开心啦（装的〕，输了，但不能输掉面子啊！最后还是吃妈妈的好吃！但是，好可惜，我因硬塞了我那一块不甜不咸的面粉糕，肚子被撑了一半，害我不能多吃妈妈的“好料”！唉！都是面子惹的祸！

猜猜哪一个是我的？

上面那个是我的！

Sorry,I don't love u...

Okay I know you like me very much..BUT wait!I really cant stand it everytime,when I see you,the way that you express your love to me,it’s too passionate for me dear.You like to run forward in 120km/hour of speed towards me and starts to do some “disgusting” action.You like to molest me ah…Not only YOU!but……all your friends as well!!!!!Urgh…YOU!YOU!YOU!

I don’t owe you anything right?Did I offend you before?Why everytime when I step into someone’s house with YOU around,(especially the bigger YOU),you will run to me and start licking me?aiks..so disgusting and I don’t like it at all…yer…Somehow,you seem to be knowing that I scared of you huh?Yeah,I did.I really scare that you will mistaken my arm as delicious food and my leg as drumstick and have a bite…Why you don’t let go of me?Instead of others,you will always choose me…I don’t like YOU!:c Even when I go jogging,so many of your friends are barking at me……woo…I don’t like you at all....You dont look at me one kind.I wont like u after all...

爱在心里口难开！

今天，我回到了Shalom，我以前工作的地方。再次踏上这个熟悉的楼梯，有点紧张，有点害怕，怕没人理我咧。Hmm..谁知，当我一踏进课室的那一刹那，有好多大朋友，小朋友冲了过来，把我围住，抱着我。真的好感动。虽然我已离开一年了，但是，小朋友们还是记得我，那么的爱戴我，我真的好感动。我那两个“徒弟“啊，虽然他们没冲过来，但是，我还是可以看到兴奋之情写满了脸上。真的好想念那一段日子啊！太高兴了。这些小朋友的拥抱，流露自他们最自然的心里，毫不害羞，好羡慕他们。如果，大人们，也能像他们一样，勇敢 的对他们所爱的人表达出最真挚的爱，无私的，那就好了！就不会那么复杂了！但是，人，随着成长，也为自己筑起了高高的一面墙来保护自己，深怕别人会侵入。东方的父母啊，更是如此，不把爱放在嘴里，而是放在行动上。所以我说，这就是“爱在心里口难开”。想要对父母说一句“我爱你”是多么的困难啊，父母也是如此。为什么呢？为什么那句话却迟迟说不出口？明明关心，却。。。却。。。又说不出来。话到嘴边了，又被我吞回去了。我真该打！取而代之的，却是另一些话。为什么？内疚了，下一次，又重蹈覆辙了。天啊！

发功～

What are these people doing:??Hmm…Shh…..keep quiet.They are focusing now,trying to figure out something or generating power kut…When I saw this pic,I really laugh out loud.But I was doing my mask then,cant laugh that broad.So have to “kek”,cannot laugh….so difficult not to laugh!Aiyo….really miss the moment la…:p

P/s : This is Lew Kai Xian师母的招牌动作。Copyright reserved.

Picture taken from sinying's fb.

Alarm!How a man fades away...

Slowly fades away.How a man can fade away so easily.It doesn’t happen in just a day.But how fast it is!Today I met with an old friend.Caught this opportunity to ask about her brother,my old colleague while I was working in Shalom…I really hope he was doing fine.But sadly,he fades away.hmm…..It’s so easily to be influenced by the world.Slightly careless,and I will slip.Temptation surrounds me almost everyday,every moment,it’s test from God.Sometimes I pass,sometimes I failed.It’s more important to know where I fail and get it right again.But world is cruel and sometimes doesn’t allow us to amend our mistakes.He used to be a godly guy.He has passion for God,love for kids and commitment to family.But I really disappointed when I was told that he fades away just like that.Fall into wrong relationship,just like what my parent did last time.It;s so dangerous and it is a trap of MR S.A.Tan…and I believe it is the most easily trapped trick for young adults nowdays.Now I have learnt a lesson again.He really speaks.He does.I knew my boundary by now and know that,this,is what I will end up to be if I contimue my fantasy.Thank God that You remind me.I want to wake up from this dream.I want to get out from this trap.Desire can destroy.esecially the wrong ones.That;s how it fades away.How easy it is.Unless it is your will,I will wait on Your plan for me.

“花样男孩”记。

终于看完了“花样男孩”.这就是我这几天的生活。虽然那是一部翻拍剧，翻拍自流星花园，但不一样的演员，不一样的拍摄手法，仍让我看得津津有味。：〕Hmm....就把他当作一部偶像剧来看吧，所谓偶像剧，就是把不可能发生的烂漫爱情故事拍成剧集。至少我是那么认为的。想当初还是十三四岁时，流星花园推出，风靡了成千上万的女生，我，哈哈，也不例外。小女生嘛，难免会做白日梦，希望这故事，真的发生在自己身上，找到一个又帅有钱的道明寺。现在回想起来，还真可笑咧！哈哈。啪啪！两巴掌，醒了吧？嘻嘻。二十岁高龄了，还看偶像剧，只不过，这次，我不被牵着鼻子走了，不作白日梦了，而是以一位观众去观赏，想从中吸取点什么的。天下间怎么可能发生这种故事啊？好吧，或许真的存在吧我也不会惊讶。

如果我是金丝草，我会选择尹智厚。不知道为什么，总觉得，能给你安全感的男人，需要他时，就出现在你眼前的男人，才是好男人。真有点为他感到可惜。无论如何，他还是能很大方的对待他的好友及所爱的人。这是需要很大的宽容和爱。大爱。

Happy Teacher's Day!

Today is teacher’s day.Managed to go back to my school,where I had stayed there for SEVEN years…..my “BELOVED” Sekolah Tinggi Kluang…But it’s always good to be back.After more than a year.I managed to see many teachers,regardless my form1 to form5’s teachers,or form 6 teachers…..happily chit chatting away as the teachers still remembered us….hahahaha:)

Stay at school for almost 3 hours I guess.walked past many roads which I had walked,ran before,passed by many classrooms,garden….all of the memories brought into my mind…..well…I’m glad tat I made the trip la after all….at least I didn’t know that my teacher miss our badge so badly,kept praising us wor..not only one teacher,but most of it o!:)

After that,went for a movie with Erin and Sean.…..Should go and watch!Its a good movie and it’s worth watching!strong recommended here!:)

Happy Teacher's Day!

Today is teacher’s day.Managed to go back to my school,where I had stayed there for SEVEN years…..my “BELOVED” Sekolah Tinggi Kluang…But it’s always good to be back.After more than a year.I managed to see many teachers,regardless my form1 to form5’s teachers,or form 6 teachers…..happily chit chatting away as the teachers still remembered us….hahahaha:)

Stay at school for almost 3 hours I guess.walked past many roads which I had walked,ran before,passed by many classrooms,garden….all of the memories brought into my mind…..well…I’m glad tat I made the trip la after all….at least I didn’t know that my teacher miss our badge so badly,kept praising us wor..not only one teacher,but most of it o!:)

After that,went for a movie with Erin and Sean.…..Should go and watch!Its a good movie and it’s worth watching!strong recommended here!:)

Happy Belated birthday,WYE LI~

To my beloved dearest WYE LI~ From left:Y Li,Tshan,Kxian,Derrie

Happy belated birthday to you!Specially dedicated this post to you...

Oooo...
miss you lots.miss the time while you were still staying beside me,always walking out with an apple,a plate and a knife...miss the time when we squate before tshan's room and chat till midnight.miss calling out your name.."WYE LI~~~~~~"

Thank you for being such a dear and caring friend and sister to me.Thanks for your care,your support and your advice while you were still with us.Even though you have lft OPTO,you still will care ,we still can chat through msn…You are a girl with great personality.You have your own idea,independent and you are adorable!hehe it;’s true!It;s really my blessing to get to know you.

So,now,you got your golden key.I sincerely wish you a very blessed birthday.May God continues to bless you,guide you and turn you into a woman after His own heart.May you be showered with abundance of love,joy peace and happiness in your path ahead.

Really wan to apologise for leeting your aeroplane few times.hmm…I really do believe somehow we must meet again,soon!before that, I will keep you in my heart de o!All the best to you,dear sis.Take care and God blez!:)

我看完Slumdog Millionaire 了！～

终于，我抽出时间看完了”SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE”了。题材虽算普通，少不了爱情故事，但不失为一部好电影！电影从头到尾都是在印度拍摄的，演员们也一众是印度演员。也搞不清楚他到底是好莱乌电影，还是宝莱乌电影。

故事开头以一对小兄弟，Salim 和Jamal 在平民窟闹事出场。刚开始还真的蛮像pantcy说的，拍摄的的确是当地的平民窟，情况太糟糕了，看了，还真的想令人作呕。但是，电影实在是有那么点吸引人。有一幕，Jamal 为了见偶像，不惜跳进粪坑，变成了一个“屎人”冲了出来，向偶像讨签名。这决心还真奠定了他以后要寻回他爱人的决心啊！

被宗教份子攻击，Jamal 和 Salim 的妈妈被攻击，两兄弟也听着妈妈的话，逃啊，逃啊，就逃出了人生的历练出来了。同时，也有个小女孩Latika紧跟着他们俩讨生活。三人被人贩子拐走，当起了小乞丐，还误把坏人maman当圣人咧！热爱唱歌的Jamal差一点就变成了“陈伟联”（新加坡一位盲人歌手）,因为maman要把他眼睛用汤匙挖出来，盲人唱歌挣多一点钱嘛！所幸，Salim救了他。两兄弟和Latika又逃啊，逃的。只是，这次，两兄弟成功跳上一列火车，但Latika却没这么侥幸了。从此，两人分散了。

故事延续到后来。。。我就不提细节了。因为要你们自己去看。〔可以跟我拿！:)〕Jamal 就这样，经历了人生的起起落落，误打误撞地给他闯入了”WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE”的节目。是命运在眷顾他吧。从1000块起的问题到一百万的问题，他竟然都能回答出来。每一题，他都亲生经历过而知道答案的。好神奇吧？当然也因此被警察请去问话罗！但问不出个所以然，因为他的经历是千真万确的。

电影不算是高潮迭起，但也算是蛮紧凑的。其中更有几幕引人深思。Salim出卖了弟弟Jamal,但在最后关头，作出了正确的决定，帮助了Jamal心爱的女人逃离魔掌。似乎预料到他会遭遇不测，他竟然把浴缸洒满了钞票，最后也死在了里面。为什么他要死在钞票中呢？这时候，钱能救他一命吗？

还有一幕，主持人出卖Jamal…真的是太气人了！但是Jamal好像不受骗。我不知道那主持人为什么不让jamal赢取一百万，还想陷害他。人，不都是为自己私欲而想吗？为了不让别人比自己出名，妒嫉，陷害什么都作得出来。

最后一幕，Jamal和Latika 重逢。Latika说：“我以为我们只有在死后才能在一起。”他说了一句，“这是命中注定的。”命中注定。是啊！生老病死，家人，朋友，甚至是未来伴侣，不都是命中注定的吗？不需要刻意寻找的，是我的，就是我的，不是我的，就不是我的。

Hmm…这是个不错的电影。但不敢保证你们也会喜欢，因为。。。不知道啦。或许你们会觉得他普通，但我认为再看仔细一点，用心去看，你会发现很多小小的人生道理，帮你复习复习从小到大学过的人生道理。

定力

忍。你到底还能忍多久呢？
诱惑
好多好多的诱惑
好
是时候来考验你的定力了
一定
一定
一定要克制住
对它的渴望
不然
你就惨了
听明白了吗，
刘恺娴？

老师难为啊！

Aiyo~since I come back to Kluang...I have a great task to do wow....have to become tuition teacher for my niece,not elementary sch,but only kindergarten ler....Really test my patience lo..What to do?haiz....The kid...really will let me 抓狂！never quiet,never keep still...asking question keep saying "I dunno"...stretch,stretch strecth... dont think im so naughty when i was young gua....Bluek~

I like kids.I really do.HOWEVER,this is only valid when they are little angel.When they turn into little devil....whoa!it's a good training for me to be a future mother man...（now i only know how our mummy brought us up o....)erm...if not too far still,its a training for me to face some people in my life with lotsa patience...After all,no cane la.will just hiak hiak hiak..."if u dont listen to me,u will know!"

终于，又回到了我熟悉的地方了。将会有一个月时间在这里好好的给我充电。一定要好好利用。不过，好像我的行程还蛮满的咧。加油罗！

回到这里，hmm...满复杂的感觉。有一些些的害怕。害怕某些人和事。先不管他啦，享受我的假期再说。:)

改革

Hmm......Since Now im in Holiday....so I will try to improve my blog by making some changes to my blog lo:)

A day without laughter.

I really dont want to post sad post anymore...But i cant....This place is the only place where i release my feeling,I cant hide and i wont hide.I dont mean to make anyone of you cry or feel sad.Its just from the bottom of my heart.

9th May--first day in KTSN...nothing special but somthing miss out.first day without donald duck,pantcy and watermelon.Saw tshan's orange slipper nicely place in front of the door,i nearly went to knock her door,kacau her.no more.no more.Sadness.I just cant control myself.It invaded every part of me.

Went to pc bengkel with LYNN.Well,a boring one.took chance to call tshan,knew tat they are shopping and eating together wif our coursemates,dimsum....Loneliness attacked us.Even Lynn.Both of us felt so down,so down.Sometimes I really think did i made the right decision?There is always pain in the offering.I hate.I hate this feeling.I hate the feeling of missing someone so badly.needless to say got so many more.Its so agonising.Every place that I went,There was a scene brought back into my mind.Argh.I want to leave this place.

Word cant really describe my feeling right now.the emptiness,the loneliness,the sadness....its mixing up together.I do really miss u all.Why?The sense of belonging was once so strong.yet now suddenly detached.how can i endure.My fault.I rarely called ppl,but today,i actuaaly called twice!Dear friends,do u know what is your weight inside my heart now?A day without laughter,without running sound,without teasing came to an end.There will be 1000+ days more to go.

Ahh...dont say le.later will poison me even more.I want to be strong.To be strong in living without u guy's accompany.To be strong to endure the suffering of seperation.To be strong to laugh again.I want and I will.Just give me some time.

langkawi之旅～

好快喔！三天两夜的浪加威之旅结束了！hmm...虽然这一次好象没玩到什么东西似的，想坐览车又碰壁没开，但是，还是满享受的啦！第一次坐飞机，坐快艇，还真的有点怕怕的。驾车的coursemate朋友，你们都好geng啊！Lynn，我太太太佩服你了！你驾车时，又稳，又快 ，坐你的车真的好有安全感！:)

旅程呢，就不多提了，因为也不外乎是到eagle square拍照啊，去island hopping 啊，把我的衣服弄得好臭好臭，走走逛逛啊，买免税巧克力啊。。。。值得一提的是，langkawi岛上的人民好象都好悠闲喔！驾车好像有那么一点点慢。（虽然对我而言，那是我的正常驾车速度。哈！〕

想乘机拍好多好多照片，例如那个在海边跳的那一张，就跳了好多次，都好象没有一张完美的也！美好的一刹那，就算它可能只是个梦，那么的遥远，却又那么的靠近，要赶快捕捉起来。至少它曾经让我开心过，那已足够了，不是吗？会好好珍惜每一个时刻，一起吃炒饭，一起下水，一起谈天说地，我想，那会化成一个回忆，美好的回忆。

我对这一次旅程或许有一点点的遗憾。或许是之前的期望太高了吧，也或许出现了一点点（希望只是一点点〕的沟通问题，让我对这趟旅程的热诚浇息了不少。但是，我还是一样，尽可能玩得尽兴了。也对某某些人另眼相看哦！有些coursemate好gentleman 哦！会保护女生，驾车的会停着等，帮忙提东西，确保没人落在后头。值得鼓励！nya nya好开心！哈哈！

思念是一种病。它会传染，传染到你脑里每一个细胞都在思念。一个人在房间，对着空床，又生病了。

离别在即

凌晨三点十五分。从婷珊的房间回来。看见大家都在忙着收拾东西，准备搬家了。我也收拾得七七八八了。但我心情却还没收拾好呢！唉！今天把may给送走了，突然离愁来袭。真的好害怕这种场面喔。一年了。整整一年了。就是已经那么习惯他们的存在了，新学期回来，他们不在宿舍了，我会要多久来适应呢？

一路走来，
有起有伏，
有悲伤有欢乐，
有开心有难过，
有生气有玩闹，
有分享有陪伴，
有秘密有玩笑，
有眼泪有笑声，
有nasi goreng ayam有jagung水，
有负担有分担，
酸甜苦辣娴，
都尝了。。
一年，还有三年呢！
最重要的事，
有你，有我，有他，有大家！
祝福你们新家住得愉快。

朋友，真的是一门很深奥的学问。真心相待，付出的，不会白白流失的。

我很曳吗？

哇～我那么曳吗？我看起来真的那么曳吗？没有啊！我是很友善的哦。要怪就只怪我那双小眼睛，看起来好象真的有那么一点点曳曳的感觉也。如果我看样子很lor heng,一定要告诉我哦，这样我才能改啊。不要怕，如果我是真的生气，你们是肯定会察觉到的。这些只是错觉。

“再也”

考试越来越接近尾声了。这代表着假期也即将到来了！真的是五味杂沉啊！这本来是个令人雀跃的时刻啊，但不知怎么的，心里既然有那么一点点，不，不是一点点，是好多好多的难过和不舍。是啊，假期来了，就代表大家聚在宿舍的日子越来越少了。这个学期过后，再也没有一起到cafe 吃nasi goreng ayam 喝jagung 水了，再也没有在厕所吵吵闹闹，再也没有人投诉我的霸王洗发水了，再也不能去突袭他人房间，再也不能去吃婷珊的honey star 了，再也不能pillow talk 到临晨两三点了，再也不能一起上课，挤巴士了。。。

这么多的“再也”，每个“再也”带着那么一点点的"不舍+难过”，加起来是多么的难过啊！更何况，每一个"再也”包含的不只是那么一点点的难过而已，而也是好多好多的回忆。。。我会想念。真的想念。怎么办？以后的日子，真不敢想象。虽然lynn 还在，但是，仍会想起那一群可爱的姐妹，回忆起一起做过下衰的事。不禁会胡思乱想："往后，我们还能够继续保持这份划不开的友谊吗？感情会随着分离而变淡吗?"这是我最最最最最最不希望看到的事。愿我们友谊长存！

这么多的“再也”，搞到我不能专心了。对，一定要好好把握珍惜剩下的几天，留下最美好的回忆。。。

无题。

还真的蛮真实的。假的。都是假的。那到底甚么是真的呢？有点失望。主啊，让我有一颗大度量的心。我虽然没在意，但心里仍然不得不在意。我一定要克服。克服什么？我也不知道。就这样吧。

A phone call~

A phone call.While I was revising with shan in the library today,i received a phone call...O.."anda Lew Kai Xian?Erm,Kami dah menjalankan test untuk anda dan mendapati anda ada alpha thalassemia.Bolehkah anda datang untuk further checkup esok pagi?" Ooo....Okie....I went for the thalassemia test last week conducted by fifth year seniors coz they gave chocolate milk and chocolate(muahaha.....of course,this is only part of the reason la).They said if I received call within a week,you are in trouble...

Well,I got it!I got the call lo.While i knew that i have alpha thalassemia,the first thought that cama across was ,"O i c...okie...what should i do next?" coz tshan just mentioned about the phone call yesterday almost same time too....It's ok,nvm,then i asked a very important question ,"adakah ini major ke minor?" Well,thank God,the person answered "minor je.tak apa punya."

hmm...luckily i did this topic for my english last sem...I remember alpha thalassemia is not very a serious type of thalassemia and its symptoms can be considered NONE,except for some mild anemia.(but i think i dont even have mild anemia lo:p)

Dont worry for me,friends.I will be fine,as usual!hehe.Shan,I will really be alright.SInce when i lied?sorry if i made you worry and opened up your tangki again.Thanks for your concern!:)