天灰

突然发现，我的天空，竟然灰了起来。
不是不知道原因，而是无法改变的现实。
到底还要固执多久？或许，永远没有答案。

Blessed Christmas~

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart.

Thank God for Christmas this year that I had the feeling that I was first touched in the Christmas of my first year of convertion. That year, th Christmas was warm and filled with love. This year round, though I din't expect much from God, but He kept continue adding unto my life..

Thank God for our caroling..that was first time ever singing the good news in junior's room. The joy of sharing the gospel is overflowing and outaking our tiredness. ALl glory to God and blessed are the ears who heard the carols!=)

Thank God for the Christmas party! Indeed, praise Him as quite a number of my coursemates made it for the party.Thanks for their attending and I really hope that they were blessed by the food, the carols and the testimonies thathad been shared that night. =D

Thank God for the Christmas service the next day, that is today, Christmas day! Though I was a little bit of disappointed as some of my visitors couldnt attend last minute, I was still blessed by the performance and the singing of the brothers and sisters. It really touched my heart to come back to God , again.

Thank God for the seed been sown. Pray that it will grow, sooner, later. Praise God that this Christmas is not just a merely Christmas as I received blessings from others, but in turn, blessing & loving others turn out to be the greatest joy of celebrating Christmas. Merry Christmas & Have a blessed new year ahead!=)

=(

Never once ever since I study in KL, I felt so down want to go back to KL this time round =( This is the first time I felt such devastation going back to KL...Idon't know why....I just feel like wanna cry...=(

Full of fear;
Confusion;
Emo;
Running away from the reality & temptations;

O no!I don't wanna go back!T.T

我的十二月！

我的十二月真的很精彩。

从月头的北马之旅 + 全国大会 --〉吃吃喝喝一路玩到槟城，震撼极带挑战性的集会。。肚子也无福消受槟城美食，泻了整整一天。。

紧接着隐形眼镜讲座会--〉懵懵懂懂不知为何，还不见了一百块。。T.T

隔天前往巴西古当社区服务--〉文化震撼 + 为民服务。。回家时养父母都哭哭啼啼，我却异常兴奋要回家。。

回家途中急转弯，冒着没巴士回家风险到了笨真一日游。。女人，真的可以很善变的！哈哈！多谢婷姐不辞劳苦在我们到龟咯岛啪啪走。。然后赶着做灰姑娘，赶搭巴士回新山。深怕流浪新山，没的 返家。。

感恩，顺利在十点前回到我的窝。。哈哈。。可我也没闲着哦。。忙着发展路线，绞尽脑汁，满怀期待隔天即将下来居銮玩的朋友。到处survey 朋友哪里有美食可寻，因朋友都是好吃之人嘛！呵呵。

阵容一直不定直到上巴士的前八小时。。哈哈。。也有朋友远从麻坡而来。第一次，能够自己驾车带着朋友到处跑，超兴奋的。希望他们都没被我那炒烂的驾驶技术吓着！同时，我们也见证了国产车myvi的超大容量，竟然挤得下三男四女共七人！哇塞！应该是大家都很苗条吧！呵呵！

本来大家直奔居銮是冲这南芭山而来。谁知，还是要说，女人，是善变的。突然大家对麻坡的puteri gunung ledang 热诚满满，征求了伟冰同学的同意后，果断地说走就走，晚上直奔麻坡！爽快！连我这个主人家也被拉去了。哈哈~

年轻人嘛，有一个位睡，什么都无所谓啦。。一路坐到盆骨抽筋也在所不惜!哈！连家住麻坡的ｌｙｎｎ　妹妹也来凑热闹！隔天直奔金山～天不作美，下起了雨。。但下雨算什么？根本浇不息我们的登山壮志！果真，上了去，天气晴朗了起来。太棒了！还有，碰到了好心人家，给我们留下一堆食物，原来天下真的有白吃的午餐的！哈哈！

谢谢伟冰同学当我们的柴可夫司机，载我们直奔金山！想必他一定累坏了！真的，非常感激他。真的，这次对他另眼相看！也很感恩大家都玩得很愉快，开心地来，平平安安的到家！回想起来，还真的满疯狂的！又为我的年轻的岁月留下了疯狂的印记～！

狂欢过后，留下的，就只剩下。。。。开学的悲哀。唉～！

名圣世界一日游

终于有机会一家出游了！来了个新加坡名圣世界一日游！坐在巴士上，几乎所有的乘客都是前往金沙赌场搏杀的aunty， uncle，有好一些都已白发苍苍了还这么身强力壮，精神奕奕的出发！我们一家显得格格不入！哈哈~巴士上海为了迎合乘客口味播放了老歌。。==“ 无奈音响又在我头上。。。== 就这样一路听到了新加坡！（也有点折磨。。。）

就这样，东走走西逛逛。。。正觉得有些无聊时。。。竟然让我碰到了一个人！

那就是我的同学！天啊，新加坡说大不大说小不小，竟然给我在今天碰到他！在异乡碰到熟人是会比较兴奋的。。哈哈！更何况，今天是他生日呢！能碰到寿星公我也算走运吧？哈哈！hmm….我应该是第一个祝他的人，哈哈，看到他本人，因为 他在新加坡根本收不到大家sms的祝福。。。

道别他了以后，又继续前往圣陶沙走走。。下了雨。。有点扫兴。但是，难得来到了，还是到处逛。还去到了据说是新加坡最大的百货广场—vivo city…好象还是比one U 小。。哈哈哈。。。

能在回KL 前陪陪父母走走散散心，也不错！只是，一想到这两个星期，我坐了好多趟长途巴士，坐到我好反胃，超晕的！礼拜三又会再坐一次。。。怕怕

这叫死党=D

从朋友部落格上看见这篇有趣的文章，你们不妨读读看：

1、她会和你静静地用同一副耳机听着同一首歌。
2、她会和你手牵着手或是挽在一起，慢慢走过校园的每一个角落。
3、她记得你的生日和对于你来说的每一个重要的日期。
4、你们常常很有灵犀的对视在同一时刻，然后相望而笑。
5、她从不计较你的家庭背景或是你与她相遇前的种种。
6、她会轻轻掸去落在你肩上的落叶。
7、她喜欢帮你把被风吹乱了的刘海拨正。
8、你们有过穿同一件衣服或是睡同一张床的经历。
9、你哭了，她让你靠在她怀里，不问发生了什么，只是静静安慰着你，帮你承担一份痛苦。
10、无论你向她倾诉的是快乐还是悲伤，她永远都不会不耐烦。
11、你们一定有一张合影。
12、她会把你放在和男朋友一样的位置上。
13、如果你真的因为某件事而执迷不悟，她会哭着给你一巴掌，直到你清醒。
14、她喜欢读着你的文字感受你的一切。
15、她会在自己的空间里留下和你的点点滴滴。
16、在食堂吃饭，她喜欢和你面对面坐，因为这样可以随时看见你。
17、你们彼此都清楚：倘若有一天被男友抛弃了，你们会有对方的怀抱。
18、出去逛街，你去别的地方太久她会很担心。
19、你们总是能指出对方的一大堆毛病和一大堆优点。
20、她从不吝啬肉麻地对你说：我爱你。虽然很暧昧，但你们深知这份友情有多可贵。
21、她会第一个注意到你的不舒服，然后时刻担忧着你。
22、她会在你感冒吃不下任何东西的时候硬是给你喂完一碗粥。
23、你们也会吵架，也会吵得天昏地暗，但不出3天便又会抱在一起嘻嘻哈哈。
24、她和你有不同的长处和爱好，但你们习惯了退居一边默默欣赏对方。
25、其实，对于你曾经伤害过她的那些往事，你真的很想对她说对不起。
26、你们会留一样的发型。
27、买东西常常会习惯给对方买一份。
28、你们有约定，要一直到老。要一起结婚，将来要给各自的宝宝订娃娃亲。
29、你们有友情的“定情信物”。
30、她是你看见这20多条后第一个想起的朋友。

你，想起了谁呢？=）

烹饪？

话说假期闲来无事，又碰到了爱烹饪的姐在家，那天一时兴起买了意大利通心粉的材料。。。开始学习烹饪。。。

简单的食材。。最后出来的杰作。。。

pasta 酱不够。。稍稍的干。。。哈哈~不过趁热吃的话，应该还不错吧。。嘻嘻。。。

自己煮的最终还是比不上妈妈今天煮的拿手酿豆腐~这个假期太幸福了！

生日快乐，我对自己说~

祝我二十二岁生日快乐！二十二了，是长大了呢？还是又老一岁呢？

我很开心，因为收到了好多的生日祝福。有朋友第一时间就打了个电话，发了封信息，面子书寄语。。每一字每一句，我都收到了！谢谢大家。。=）

感谢神，让我能够再次地回到祂的怀中。
感谢神，在这二十一年里的看顾，无大风大浪，平平安安。
感谢神，赐给了我一个完整美丽的家。
感谢神，让我能够认识了好多好多好朋友，一起笑，一起哭，一起度过我人生中每一个阶段。
感谢神，从来不放弃我，不离弃我。

又到了人生的另一个阶段了。

二十二，代表成长，成熟，成人了。

要学习：更爱自己，更爱家人，更爱朋友，更爱神。

也要学会：放手不再执著，不再期待没有结果，随遇而安，珍惜所拥有，活在当下。

听起来很难，但至少这是我对生日的自己的期许和要求。

生日愿望呢？每个人都问。哈哈。。就分享其一：
只要我身边的人都平安，喜乐，健康。人生中还有什么比平安健康更重要呢？^^ （我知道很老套，但这真的是我第一个想到的愿望。其它的。。哈哈。。成真了再说吧！）

我真心祈祷神能够保守我身边的每一人，家人朋友，健康喜乐！

最后，今天送了个礼物给我自己，理了个头发，准备迎接新的未来。=D

上巴刹记

这听起来像是小学作文题目吧？一大清早被拉起身上巴刹咯！不说风和日丽，鸟语花香的早晨了，只是，已经好久没陪妈妈去巴刹了。完全像个局外人，妈妈买菜时，不知该站在哪里。哈哈！真觉得自己很多余。猪肉摊，鸡贩，鱼贩。。的味道真的是重到。。。有点受不了。不是看不起他们，而是非常敬佩他们能够为了生计忍受那闻了想吐的气味，年复一年，日复一日。。
得到的结论：
要煮一餐还真的不简单！
百物高涨，连一颗菜都变得好贵！
爸爸妈妈老了很多。
这次回来，惊见爸爸头发竟白了好多。老了，真的老了。感慨。。。

几米

"所有的悲伤，总会留下一丝欢乐的线索。

所有的遗憾，总会留下一处完美的角落。



我在冰封的深海，找寻希望的缺口。



却在午夜惊醒时，蓦然瞥见绝美的月光。”



为什么我们在努力的行走，前方却越来越黑暗，我们要去向哪里？



即使是世界上最黑暗的角落，也有愿意照耀着你的星星，带你找到前方的路。

白日梦？

假期无所事事，上了面子书，偶然在我的wall上发现了一位好久不见的学妹。好几年没联络了，她飞往美国读书也三年了。好奇下，翻看了她的相簿。哇~这些年来她在美国堪萨斯州的生活好精彩哦，人也越来越漂亮。。当然她也已不是孤单一人啦。。看见了她与男友上载的照片，好幸福哦！^^

开始做起白日梦~同人不同命啊！开始想当年。。。？！如果当初有机会出国留学，现在我的人生会是怎么样呢？又会怎么不一样呢？没困在马来西亚这框框，到另一个国家，开阔自己的视野那多好啊？

无奈，那只是白日梦。。==”

脚还踩着马来西亚的土地，心还是系着这里。几时能够出走啊？

Pray

There's an urge deep inside my heart that I need to pray. It is not up to me but as what's God's will for me. I will wait patiently for ur answer to be revealed, Lord. I will not made up my decision unless You say a "Yes.". If this is Your will, let Your will be done. All glory to You.

Gala Dinner~=D

Finally Gala Dinner is over..

Had a amazing and wonderful night ya~ This time I was involved in the preparation work of back drop and chairing(?!!) haha...Thank God with all the brothers and sisters' help, my crazy idea of backdrop managed to come true lo~=D haha..Really thanks to all the help~ No matter the help on the day itself or the crazy night that we had together....haha...It was a great moment to share with...

It was an exciting moment...Everyone attended the dinner with their best costume...Leng zai & leng lui all around..This was the 1st time I became chairperson for Gala Dinner..slight excited and nervous as well...But thank God, everything went smoothly...Laugh non-stop, It was really an enjoyable and great moment that we spent together....SO glad that my friend turned up the dinner.

I am so blessed to be able to join this big family.I felt that as we continue to serve together, we became more and more like a big family le. haha..Praise GOD for a wonderful night that we had =P

自由

我自由了！哈哈哈！好痛苦的一个月终于过去了！暂且把成绩抛一边吧。

那天朋友来我房，惊呼：“你眼睛怎么了？怎么好象被人打了两拳？！”天啊！看了看镜子，发掘我苍老了很多，那两只熊猫眼深到。。。还附送两个眼袋！T.T 怎么办？？！超丑的！

无论如何，采它那么多。还有好多任务还没完成呢！继续努力！期待着回家。。。

真是一个美好的十一月啊！=D

开心的马六甲之旅

好久好久没和朋友一起出游了！终于，在忙了一个学期之后，趁着下一个考试来临之前，我们逃到了马六甲一日游！~ 真的很开心，不是因为去了哪里，而是大家又能聚在一起出游的感觉！而且，最惊喜的是，他们竟然在娘惹餐馆拿出了生日蛋糕，为十一月宝宝庆生！哈哈。我只能说，你们有买得太神不知鬼不觉了！真没发现你们偷溜出去~！谢谢你们的用心，我只能说，生命里，有像你们这一群的朋友真的事太幸福了！谢谢那一些一手策划，安排甚至为了这烦了一星期的亲爱的朋友们~超感动的！=p

完美的马六甲之旅虽然画下了一点点不完美的据点，因为无缘无故被巴士司机坑了==”，但是这还是我们友情纪念册上灿烂的一页哦！=）

谢谢！

这个考试，摔得好重，但也学了好多。谢谢，受到了好多好多的鼓励。从不间断过。让我觉得神的恩典真的是够我用的。
谢谢你们
每一封信息，
每一篇文章，
每一盒糖水，
每一张卡片，
每一个鼓励，
每一个祷告。。。
不管多么的沮丧，不管多么的紧张，不管多么的压力
每一份鼓励都载满了暖暖的祝福，让我在好想放弃的时候，又再次燃起了斗志。我真的深深地感动。
谢谢你们！真的好幸福，好感恩，好满足！

没有跌到，怎能知道如何站里的稳，
没有失败，怎能知道如何珍惜成功！

梦？！

压力大过山。很沮丧。但是，今天我登陆这里，不是要述说我多么沮丧了（想必你们一定是看到显了==”）。

最近，我碰到了一些事情，让我觉得很奇妙。

两个月前，一位朋友做了一个梦，梦到了关于我和一位人物。她很兴奋的描述了他梦境给我听。听了过后，我大笑了三声；哈哈哈！来应酬她。这是一个很好的梦，但，那个时候，谁会把它放在心里。。

两个礼拜前，和另一位朋友闲聊。他突然间告诉我她两年前做了一个关于我的梦。又来？！听他的任务描诉过后，我突然想起了那两个月前的梦。巧合的是，怎么人物特征这么接近？而且发生情况类似。。啊，哎呀，碰巧罢了！

几天前，读书好累人，又和另一位朋友聊天。（哈哈，对不起，朋友多了一点点。。。）这次，不是聊梦了。而是有带点瞎扯的成分聊我们的未来会是怎么样。聊着聊着，这。。。这。。。也未免太奇怪了吧！怎么。。怎么。。他对我的人生“预言的人生”（白日梦罢了～＝ｐ）某些情节故事人物。。和那两个梦竟然有一些些吻合！

奇怪了。太奇怪了！那，人们常说美梦成真。也有人常说梦，和现实是相反的。那么，该信谁呀？那么多的巧合，真的只是碰巧而已吗？那，梦见得梦，会有成真的一天吗？希望如此。哈哈哈。只好对自己大笑三声吧。为紧张压力的考试期间带来一些些的缓冲。

梦做完了，眼前的书本可不假了～

等待

考试即将开始。征战即将展开了！
虽然还没开始，就已经战败了一场，但感谢神能够让我重考！=p
其实我已经开始等待了。。。

等待着考试结束的那一天；
等待着搭巴士回家的那一天；
等待着宣布假期开始的那一刻；
等待着。。。一个梦成真的那一刻；
也等待着。。。一个戏言的承诺实现的那一刻。

等待是漫长且痛苦的，但我相信是绝对值得的！=D

Blessed be Your name.

Finally my first clinical practical exam is over. Well, I didn't do well in one of the station. Fail?I don't know. I had done my best. And I want to uphold to God for You had said that, " Your grace is sufficient for me." Are You to blame because I did not do well for not did not watch over me? No, not at all. Never thought of that. I know, whether in joy or pain, You are faithful still. In fact, Your blessing never stop showered upon me. I know You will not let me bear beyond what I can bear. Yes, I was sad after coming out of the station but Your peace, be with me. I still have a life time to soar with You, Lord!=) No matter pass or fail, I know You have the best plan for me!=p

Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name!

留级离我真的那么近？

在三个月以前，从没有想过，顺利毕业，会是一个问题吗？从没发现过，不能毕业被留级距离我竟然是这么靠近，时时刻刻都掉进那级。现在，我知道了。

虽然每天活在教授的恐吓中，动不动有用fail来恐吓我们，听起来，要fail实在很容易！但是，日子还是要过，试还是要考。怕，是一定的，但感谢上帝，在我怕到发抖时，让我心里有你给的平安。再怎么艰难，你的仗和你的柄必指引我。

实习考试那么多的未知数，谁知道我们的命运又会如何呢？加油加油加油！

感性？

今天在向朋友学折纸玫瑰，一位男同学见了，就说：“你们好感性哦，都什么时候了，竟然有闲情逸致在这里学折玫瑰？”

哈哈哈。大家都笑了。难道考试到了就什么都不做吗？每天吭书吗？话说回来，感性。这两个字，我觉得还蛮适合我的，甚至使所有的女人吧！但随着日渐成熟，感性，也慢慢转变了。

以前的我，会把表情写在脸上。感动，生气，伤心。。。说的话，也自以为是很感性却不然的。现在的我，学习着要内敛一点。其实啊，一点点小小的动作，一封短讯，一个小小的举动，甚至是一句话，都能让我感动得一塌糊涂。但是，不流泪不代表我不感动，不流露出来不代表我是冷血的。。就是因为想要把每一份感动深深藏在心底，不容许它流露出去。如果真的难掩这份感动，我想，我也只会用文字来表达。那，这，是感性的另一层次吗？

感性，不是情绪化。感性，不是emo。感性，使每一个人，男人，女人，与生俱来的，只不过看你有没有发掘出来，把它变成你的魅力。

Unforgetable 10.10.10

Just back from HOPE Kuantan 10th anniversary mission support! Wow WOw WOW truly this time i had a real unforgettable trip!=) I was so blessed and glad to serve together with so many brothers and sisters....almost half of the team made up of visitors and first timer in mission trip.So proud of them!=p

Well, it was a very unforgettable trip for me, as I had given my one of my "first time" here.All glory to Him who strengthen me and give me confidence to sing. Thanks to the brothers and sisters' encouragement, correction, help, in sms, words, songs..they meant a lot to me. Thank God!Till the end, I don't know whether I had sang out of tune or not, but I knew that I already sang out my lung le...No one is perfect but God has made the unperfect perfect!Enjoy working together with the team!

Wouldn't want to elaborate more here, as I had too much things to say, too much joy to share. All I can say is I truly could feel the family spirit among the team this time. From the beginning of the journey to Kuantan till On the way back, we never stop laughing. The happiness and joy came from the hearts. So do our hearts of serving. Indeed, this time round, I know what it is to be meant by " It is the family spirit that determines the activity, not the activity determines the family spirit!"

To the team, YF, ALEX, KIA ING, STEPHENIE, YEEJING, KAREN, KOK WEI, AHBOY, WAN JEN, JIA XIN, CHING YEE, CHING CHING, SING NIE, MING BONG....all i could say is BRAVO!really blessed by all of you, somewhere somehow.....the time we spent, the joke we laughing away, the work that we did, the mafia that we played....

I love this family so much!!

Depressed dispensing

Every Tuesday is a stressful day for me.Ya, indeed, it is. 2 practicals have to be done continuously. Both are stressful,but if you force me to choose, I would say that dispensing the spectacle lens is much more stressful la!

Haiz..I think I not talented in cutting lens....It took me soOOooOoOooo long to finish cutting a lens. While I was still excited to check my product, only I realise that, I had cut the lens wrongly! wrong axis la, senget la, wrong power la, off axis la....haiz....Some are rily silly mistakes, yet I'm still doing it...

Sitting in front of focimeter, listening to Pn Maria praising others, " wow, this is perfect!" " this is nice!I'm going to give u 9 out of 10!" and Im keep stucking at the power of the lens...aiyak....really pek chek sometimes! for one side of lens, I had cut at least 4 times and above! and is not perfect still.What to do?NOt gifted la!

Really depressed in ophthalmic lab sometimes.As others can do it so fast and so well. Me? every lens I do is the wrong one.AFter long suffering, only manage to produce my bifocal lens.

Anyway, everybody need encouragement la.It really lifted me up. Thanks to some of my lab mates, let me scold ah, vent my pek chek emotion ah, still willingly to help me...hahaha~=) It's an interesting thing to learn, but I not going to fall in love with it!NEVER!

当失望来袭？

人啊，难免会有失落的时候。
兴奋的心情，顿时掉入谷底。
失望之极。

失望的，是看不上我的能力。
我本来以为，我能，但，看似，我不能了。（家好月圆吗？！）
失望的，是点燃了我希望，又毁灭了我的希望。
最失望的，就是对我的不信任。

但是还是要谢谢这些失望，让我的干眼症得到了一些滋润，让我学会了，该更信靠神多过人。

世上的人，必会有让人失望的时候，包括我自己在内，幸好，我还有上帝，一位很信实，能够让我依靠的神。对，抖一抖身子，振作起来，笑一笑，再出发。=)

十全十美。。

10月10日，关丹希望教会即将庆祝十周年纪念了。

这么隆重热闹的庆典，当然少不了我们啦～这一次，轮到了我们ukm小组前往支持。即ｍｉｓｓｉｏｎｃａｍｐ后，好一些学妹们还蛮兴奋再回到关丹，一起共庆这“十全十美”的一天～因为人手不足，我。。被安排到了助唱得服侍。天啊？！从来不会唱歌的我，从来没有上过台助唱得我竟然被安排在这么重要的场合献出我的第一次！超紧张的！真怕我给搞砸了咧。。。五音不全的我，到底能够胜任这一岗位吗？哈哈～把人家的十全十美变成九全九美？！靠神的恩典吧。。。啦啦啦啦啦啦。。。现在开始喝蜜糖来得及吗?

十月

挥别九月，迎接了十月的到来。时光飞逝，九月，对我留下的，就是让我浪费掉的那近两个悠闲星期的假期，一个让我难忘的营会，几个让我痛苦的考试。。。除此之外，我真的没有记忆了。

感觉我的呼吸即将越来越仓促，越来越困难了。教授的“恐吓”，实习考试的一次定成败的压力，theory上的不足，期中考带来的失败让我的压力又上升了一层。真的觉得头发越掉越多啦！

虽然口头上常说成绩不代表全部，但最近，我却惊觉到：我的成绩，并不是我一个人的事，而是关心到其他人的眼睛！如果再不认真读，下学期，第四年，将来，要怎么样来面对病人？问题是处在了我的学习态度上，不够积极了吗？对！虽然到了最后，成绩的的确确不会是我的大学生涯的全部，但愿这惊觉能够让我更认真地去学习知识，没有A没关系，但必须吸收运用吧！

十月了，考试月，不停止，再加油。要认真，要认真，要认真！

Marching into PKC!

Kids~! Hmm..I love kids....haha..and recently in church they actually offered few ministry which can be served, one of them is PKC( Praise Kids Club)...

Ya, thinking twice, I tink I'm in for it...knowing tat kids are not easy to deal with, but, wait a minute, I also not easy to be bulied by the kids o~hahahaha=p let the horse come..jie jie got trained b4 de o~lol=pAs long as they don't call me AUNTY, i tink my threshold is quite high one.....haha..be able to serve in PKC reminds me of Shalom, a school which I worked before...Thought of how Sweet all the little kids were, how cuteeeeeee they acted....my heart actually melted everytime they talked, smile, acted soOOooooOoo cute....hehe...NOT for the time they ar elike lil devil crying and throwing the tantrum la......

It is a new challenge for me, and Im quite looking forward to it~hehehe...Kids are the next rising generation, they have to be taught in a good way ya?

中秋。雨夜

月圆人团圆。。这一个中秋节，在忙碌中度过。一点气氛都没有。。要是没人提起，都还没发现是中秋节呢！忙碌，似乎已成为我第三年的字典里最常出现的字眼了。就连佳节都免不了它。。唉。。。单独一人吃了一粒小小月饼，当作庆祝吧？怎么我会沦落到这么孤单？

下雨的中秋夜里，不能赏月，也不能睡，只能与我的电脑一起度过。。风。冷。

还是要祝大家：

中秋节快乐！

这是为何啊？

医者父母心。现在的医学生到底为了什么而读啊？因为拿满分，不要浪费机会而选择了医科？还是来自父母的压力？医生肩膀上所承担的，不只的是一条条的人命，他也承担起了对社会的责任。试问，没有热忱，没有包袱，没有一颗怜悯之心，要怎样当一名侠骨仁心的医生啊？多少人为了名利而选择了这行，我不知道。但是，我知道，为了名或利而选择的人，将来的路一定会走得很辛苦，自己辛苦，病人也辛苦。何苦呢？我真的很心寒啊！但愿那一些医学生或者医生能够有一颗赤子之心，改变想法，当一名负责任的好医生。

heart of shepherd?

Jesus said to Peter," If you love me, love my sheep."He did not say once, but 3 times! How important is this commandment to Jesus. Learning, to become a shepherd... to have a heart of shepherd. It's a challenge to me, as i never understand how a shepherd feels. I have received so much blessing from my shepherd, it is time to channel the blessing to my sheep. Nervous, because I don't know how to become a shepherd. I know, it is not by my own strength. Let God lead the way~

=="

话说啊，有一天与张老师和alisa聊天，提起了吉他，一问之下，他们对我的学习吉他方法还真不敢置信吧？！ 哈哈。。。因为 我可算是没有固定练习时间啊，偶尔读书读到无聊时才抱一抱我的男朋友，抱了十分钟，又继续读书，有读闷了，又抱一抱他。。呵呵。。。他们可不敢恭维。。。嘻嘻，原来他们所谓的弹吉他练习时间，一弹就三，四个小时不间断咧！可见得他们对吉他的热爱！哈哈！我哪，还没爱的那么深吧？或许我技术还不到家，弹来弹去就是没突破，失望了吧？也有很多时候，真的是抽不出这么长的时间给我男朋友啦。。。所以，他就沦落为休息片刻时的放松品咯。。不过！我还是很深爱我的吉他的咧。。已经接近一星期没抱抱他了，突然间发现好像还蛮想他的咧！好吧好吧，决定了，我要重新寻找回我对他最初的热忱，突破我的瓶颈咯！

Mission camp~!!!

Hola hola! Just back from 3days 2 nights mission camp at Kuantan & Pekan~! Wow! It has been a very fantastic camp I ever had before! Though there was a leak of information before going to the camp, but our mysterious boss, yim fong with all her committee didn’t reveal evertything not until the last minute~!

Starting from a team formation itself we already had a “wow”! haha=) I was happy to be under Apollos lo, a super duper sanguine leader, weird and funny! Haha, different kinds of ideas created by our leader, acted “sot-ly” together and we did enjoy it! =)

Kind Kai Xian

The jungle tracking was the most “ looking forward” one~ Yim Fong and Alex taught the lesson till late night, and we expected “nah, its already so late, YF wont let us go in so long one la…..” WHO KNOWS! Once I stepped in the jungle, all of us were ==”……”oh my goodness~!” starting from scare, afraid, nervous till frustrated, stressed, funny, tired….

This is the first time I know how heavy a log can be! First time ever walked in the paya bakau barefooted ==” Countless of organism jumped over my leg and I couldn’t care less anymore..Every step we took was so hard coz once we stopped, we would start to sink down! Haha~Anyway, had a wonderful time of jungle trekking together, getting lost together in the jungle, kept making round at the same place~ After long way, we thought that we finally made it! “Who knows, huh??!” It ‘s just the same place as we went in just now! Hahaha=p There we showed the united spirit between brothers and sisters, singing along in the darkness, sacrificed ourselves to feed the mosquitoes that never bite human before and even started a camp fire~ ( really had the feeling of survival!)

Coming to the last team activity, which was the most UNFORGETABLE one for me…huhu…I don’t know why, is it because everyone pakat together to attack apollos, or is it because our team is in the middle one, so easy to become target…..Our “NOT KIA” team was attacked terribly~! Not kia, not kia, even till I’m the one only left, Im not kia si….But, all I could feel that, everyone was shooting at me, give me free “water massage” ==” …everything so noisy and messy, all I could hear was “Go lo, attack Apollos group o!” Soon, many “bullets” came from different direction! I also could hear shingyee shouted, “ kai xian very kelian liao, dun shoot liao!!” hahaha=p All were looking ways to shoot our not kia’s flag! Not until that Elroy poured out the pail of water on me, I guess I would defend till the end gua~! Heard that petrus even cabut my team flag and continue to shoot and our ill fated flag……….~ T.T Haha, after all, it was just a game, everyone had role to play, so do I. I had learnt that how Jesus was kena attacked by everybody, all the “bullets” and suffering because of our salvation!

Souvenir 1 : Not even managed to play de water gun

Apart from these activities, every activity was actually incorporated into teaching…Every lesson was PLANNED by our dearest committee! I had learnt so many hands on lesson, to apply in times of urgency and preparation of own self for our great commission!hehehe….Really had great time P&W, laughing away together till my stomachache, cooking together, pengsan together in the car and finally all sama-sama kena kissed by countless of mosquitoes! SO romantic rite?haha=p THUMB UP! Thanks to all the committee and the drivers!=)

Souvenir 2 !

展开清晨的翅膀

主耶和華，你已經鑒察了我。
我坐下，我起來，你都已曉得。
我行路，我躺臥，你都細察，
你也深知我一切所行。
我舌頭上的話，你沒有一句不知道。
你在我前後環繞著我，按手在我身上。
這樣的奇妙，是我不能測透，
你的至高你的尊貴，是我永遠不能所及。
我可以往哪裡去躲避你的靈？
我可以往哪裡去逃，可躲避你的面？
我若展開清晨的翅膀飛到地極，
就在那裡，
你的雙手也必引導我。

我能往哪里逃，你的恩典一直伴随着我，永不离弃。感恩，因为你从不放弃我。

第五届海外华文书市~

今早听说朋友要去海外华文书市， 心痒痒的，因为我本来就好想去。。可是因为考试。。。但是最终还是按耐不住就去了~哈哈哈~！

买了入门票，尽入眼帘的就是。。哇~！好大！真的很多人，也很多书。第一次逛这么大型书展，有点兴奋的咯~！的确想买两本书来充实自己。但是，对于平时除了课业书和报纸之外几乎都不碰书的我啊，面对这么多书，都不知道该从何选起。。。

这里看看，那里走走，慢慢的，一个又一个的书架，一叠又一叠的书，琳琅满目，开始发现，有些书还真的蛮不错的，有的很便宜，非常值得。。已不看就不看，一看见了，又好像突然间多了很多本想要买。。。选啊，选，在英文部就花了三个小时。。最后只好割爱，选了两本真的有兴趣的。。。

有好些文具商，卖的文具好便宜~一盒36支彩色笔才卖五块~！不知道能不能用的~虽然已经买了啦~嘻嘻~

时候真的不早了，所以无法真正去参观华文部。。只能走马看花的逛了半圈。。有点可惜。。

我领悟到：知识的海洋是多么的浩瀚，我们必生所学的，或许都不到0.001%而已吧~！

Opto 3rd year?

Therefore I say, WE, Opto 3rd year, are rily all 先锋敢死队~！Every test that has to be conducted on patient we will have to test all out 1st..==" some are fun; some are scary; some are difficult ;some are excited( coz its so amazing u can see nesw thing)...We rily took our eyes as experiments lo..anaesthetic, mydriatic,drop countless time lo...Corneal staining?Normal normal la...Haiz, why opto loves to poke things into our own eyes..big, small, gel, air....hahaha=)

Only by these we can experience wat the patient is experiencing.


Contact Lens pulak, another brand new experience for me.Nvr been in contact wif CL before, actually have to learn how to fit on ppl!Though it is already the 3rd time in contact lens fitting session, I still feel that fitting CL is a very tough job la~haiz...Especially on other ppl's eye! Some of the lens just so thin, and it didnt sucks to the tear film ( as wat lecturer said ) once you put inside..hmm..I tried to fit on Kah Kit today.so depressed coz the CL tak masuk masuk...keep on sticking on my finger la~!hmph~!made me feel so bad coz his eye turned red a bit..@@ Have to improve the skill.by how?nobody can let me practise except clinic time wor...If fail to fit in 3 times, FAIL la me~!T.T

Then, what else, 3rd year do? Contact lens got, then must have spectacles lo!Yes, make spectacles!Cut the lens..Adjust the frame...I dislike this the most among 3 labs..coz it involves lots technical skill, creativity, art, and fizik..ALL of them, im lacking..lol=p My 1st pair of spectacle i spent 3 weeks to totally verified. Cut wrongly 4 pieces of lens...Its so detail ...which is not so me..>.<

Argh...and, 3rd year, SUPER LONG HOUR of lectures~!normally the 4 to 5 hours of continual lectures on goin almost everyday...My butt sit until very pain lo..My eyes will shut automatically la~ Forget bout lectures, here come presentation and assignments~!Tons and tons of them, one after another...Woo...

3rd year?!Year of grow~Its time for us to be transformed to look more like an optometrist lo..Busy busy busy, sterssful, yet actually im quite enjoying all the practical session despite the reality of actually have to do it perfectly ==" lol=)
Our responsiblity for the public getting heavier and heavier on our shoulders as we know more and more...So, knowing that cant play play already. So, what we can do is, continue to do lo.do dO DOOOOOO...can work hard, but not play hard anymore le, at least not in my 3rd year.

这算什么？

这算什么？为什么？为什么？好想知道，但，我真的不了解。心里有很多问号，但是没有人能够替我解答。。难道，就这样，永远不知道这算什么吗？

感恩你有的一切

cool and steady~!

校长辱骂华裔学生滚回中国的事件越闹越大。所有华人都为之气愤， 似乎越演越烈了， 看了，我也越来越担心。狗啊，诸啊，都出来了！是，就因为那校长无礼和极不尊重的行为，扰乱本来还算慢和谐的民族关系，确实人神共愤，真的很过分！我们独立了四十多年了，竟然还会有这样的幼稚言论（其实一直都有啦==”）种族纠纷一触即发！

虽然他的做法太过分，但是不代表所有马来社群都是一样的（我周围的马来朋友都很好啊~）。。。种族，在这的国家， 是最敏感的课题，如果触碰了，后果，不堪设想了。到时，已不再是一个民族的尊严等事，而是关乎整个国家的安宁了。国家不安宁，我们岂能安居乐业？更不提种族了。这么多国家就是因为这千百年来存在的种族问题而搞的战火连连，民不聊生。有了前车之鉴，难道，他们希望马来西亚变成这样吗？

始作俑者造的孽，被广泛报道了，结果呢？还不是一样？但我相信上天必有它的惩罚。身为智者的龙的传人，不必跟着起哄，有失我们的风度啊~！更何况，，只要我们邻居同胞还坐大的一天，这残酷的事实是不会改变的，事件还是会不停重演，不如我们就keep cool and steady，等着风水轮流转的那天！何必浪费心力去争论，最后，什么都不会改变。不如去做更有建设性的事情。这类等闲事，骂骂过后，就算了！

哈哈哈！

我：“嘿，偷偷告诉你
有一种说不出的喜悦，
窃喜，
狂喜，
好想大笑出来！”

还是我：“真的是神经病，
这么一点点
就能让我
全身激素上升
处于亢奋状态！”

我：“就有那么值得兴奋嘛！”

==”朋友，不要汗颜了。。这只是我的无聊之谈。。呵呵~！

不如燃燒自己

不如燃燒自己
快樂星期天 2010-08-01 18:57


她來自東馬一個稱為斗湖的小鎮，家裡常常因為錢而3天一小吵，5天一大吵，甚至打起架來，她常想從那個家逃出去。後來她停了學，出去工作，抽煙、去迪士高、紋身、做男生打扮。17歲不到，有一天她忽然覺得肚子有一點不舒服，好像有塊硬硬的東西……
18歲那年，她因患癌留在吉隆坡的馬大醫院。她來自東馬一個稱為斗湖的小鎮，陪她來的哥哥，過後就趕回去了東馬。

她說，別人的18歲都是開開心心在外面蹦蹦跳跳，有些還在父母的懷抱裡撒嬌，而她必須躺在醫院的病床上面對隨時而來的死亡。她也有過童年，但童年並不溫馨，家中有六兄弟姐妹，她出世時不足磅，過後是外公外婆照顧到兩歲時才回家。外公外婆很寵她，她在不明就裡下變得固執又叛逆、不合群、偏激、我行我素。

長大一些，這個小女孩就開始抽煙、喝酒和逃學。她其實是想從那個家逃出去，因為家裡常常會因為錢而3天一小吵，5天一大吵，她往往會成為出氣筒。而叫人驚心的是，家中兄弟姐妹都有練跆拳道，那些鐵棒、沙包及拳套，也常常會在打架時派上用場，有時打到見血；而媽媽出手打孩子也從不手下留情，打到累了，手痠了才會停下來。
她停了學，出去工作。煙抽得更兇、去迪士高、紋身、做男生打扮。

有一天，她忽然覺得肚子有一點不舒服，好像有塊硬硬的東西，剛好同事生病要去看醫生，她就順便也去看看。看過後，就把醫生的勸告拋之腦後，因為死亡是遙遠的事。她自小有個願望，就是環遊世界，出國遊玩或工作，一個個地方逗留……幾個月後，她到了沙巴首都亞庇，並找到了工作，當時她16歲。

她的肚子越來越痛，再去看醫生，醫生說必須馬上開刀，由於年齡不足，她只能回家鄉找家人簽名，在當地動手術。
對抗病魔，憑直覺呼救……

手術後不到一個月，她飛回了亞庇，手術報告沒有去看。她又開始工作賺錢：早上10點做到凌晨一點才下班，“下班”後幫人洗衣服，到三點多才休息。有時通宵不眠，便喝點酒，也抽抽煙。
不久，她真正知道了一件事：她得了癌症。因為腫瘤太大，醫生不敢為她開刀，也許開刀也無用。她連17歲也不到，而她現在，可能只剩下6個月生命。

左思右想，在一片荒茫裡，她看到了她的母親……為甚麼她沒有跟我去拿報告？因為她沒有關心我！我今天才會走到這絕路！憤恨中朋友同事都勸她回家，有個同事突然提起可以申請到吉隆坡的馬大醫院治療，終於她的哥哥陪了她去。

在馬大醫院，她的肚子越來越痛，也越來越腫；她站看不見自己的腳趾，止痛藥也不能減輕任何痛楚。她吃不下，睡不，呼吸困難。她開始憑一點直覺呼求，呼求的聲音散落在不明的角落和方向……這裡的死亡比甚麼都真實，化療期間很痛苦，家人卻都在故鄉……童年是苦澀，以為長大就可以隨心所欲過自己想過的生活，誰知是夢一場，在這個別人尋夢的年紀，她卻在一個夢魘裡。這時，有甚麼比有個人來向自己說話更好呢？

這天，有兩個女孩子到醫院來了，她們來到她的床前……她們說些甚麼？耶穌？四個屬靈定律？都不要緊，有人來說說話就好，有人來探訪就好，為了這個緣故，就說自己要信耶穌好了。誰知這時醫院裡也有一位病人是信耶穌的，她60多歲，得膀胱癌。她曾是護士，不時就過來，醫學上有甚麼不明白的，她會給你解答，同時她也沒忘記告訴你，要依靠耶穌。

那兩個女孩子照常來，還帶來了聖經，臨走就留下了。她每天到傍晚時，便把聖經攤開平放，她們來到看見，問：“有讀了嗎？”她就回答說：“讀了很久，很累了！”這樣說是一種暗示：你們不好再說甚麼耶穌了，來看看我就好。有時有護士經過，見她桌上有聖經，問她：“你也是基督徒嗎？”她就馬上回答：“不是！”
這世界有苦難，但我這裡有平安

兩週後，她被推進了手術房，手術很大：由胸口往下切，經過肚臍，直到小腹，切除的腫瘤有七斤多重。而癌細胞又已蔓延到肝，醫生說如果立刻做化療或許還有希望。傷口還在痛，這時加上化療，人到這時，還有甚麼個好說的？

那個患膀胱癌的護士病人又過來看她，她竟然對她說：“我要信你的耶穌！”她像忽然有了自主：“為何不試一下呢？生在這世上，是不能選擇，沒有機會選擇；也沒有權利選擇在那一家出生，但起碼我可以選擇死後要到哪裡去。”再往下想也很“安全合算”：若真的沒有天堂地獄，這選擇也不會有甚麼損失，因為這是免費的；若真的有天堂地獄那我不是平白失去機會？

她就這樣信了耶穌，但病痛並沒有神蹟式地離開。手術後一週，有一天她突然休克。搶救後，醫生通知她家人準備後事。但這一次，她身邊多了一批為她禱告的人，最後，她存活下來。耶穌說：“這世界有苦難，但我這裡有平安。”她躺在病床上，內心不再懼怕。

那膀胱癌女病人的兒女及女婿，每天都會早晚各一次來看她，每天為她抹身洗假牙，過後問她喜歡吃些甚麼？幾個月下來，不離不棄，毫無怨言，風雨不改。這女病人得這樣的福氣，她沒忘記那個非常欠缺的女孩，不久，她向院方申請，讓她們同住在一間病房裡。每天兒女問她要吃甚麼時，她也順便問她要吃甚麼，然後一起買了來。
終於寫信問候家人

有關心，就有敞開的心。這家人開始教導她讀經禱告，還有11奉獻。11奉獻是基督徒把每月收入的十分之一納入上帝的糧倉。當時她在醫院根本沒有錢，有的是一些病人出院時給她的幾令吉零用，漸漸她存了70令吉，就這樣，她開始了她生平第一次的11奉獻。

化療繼續，她的體重由46公斤降至30多公斤。六個療程後，瘤沒消失，於是再做14次其他化療。她每天在醫院讀經禱告，那癌症女病人的兒女來探訪時，也教導她如何傳福音見證主，她開始了生命裡第一次的傳福音工作，她也寫信問候家人。

第二年，與她同期入院的病人差不多都去世了，她禱告她可以回家向家人傳福音。那時快要過年，院方批准了她的申請，可是機票買不到了，大家於是又禱告。不久，馬航打電話來說只剩一張機票，不過要在亞庇逗留再轉機──這正是她禱告裡的一部份：她也要向以前亞庇的同事傳福音。

在亞庇作過見證，過了2天，她向神說：“明天就是除夕了，我希望可以回家吃團圓飯，但沒有機位了。”神垂聽禱告，一個基督徒機師幫了忙，她上了飛機，安排坐在兩個飛機師的中間。當晚，她真的在家裡吃到了團圓飯。而他們也在主裡團圓──這個新年，她的大姐、妹妹、爸爸媽媽都因為她而信仰了主。

她在83年入院，85年底出院，期間一共化療25次，開刀3次；頭髮脫光，又長了出來。
後記：85年過後當然還有許多的掙扎……但她相信：“與其咒詛黑夜，不如燃燒自己，照亮黑暗”。96年神引領她與另一位牧者在檳城大山腳開拓更新基督教會。98年因主的慈愛與恩典預備，她嫁給一位弟兄為妻。

她是何振霞牧師。

今天偶然间听到了一些埋怨。。听了有些气愤。。埋怨有用吗？不要投诉说参与无门，东西不是没有（还多得很！），只是看你选择要不要做而已~！既然都无法避开，一定要做，不如就放心思去做吧。每天只读书，是没错，但是以后出来社会，书本学的并不代表一切啊！我们这一代，或许还真的是温室里的小花，缺乏了那一点点刻苦耐劳的精神啊！不说了。人各有志吧！

为舟曲灾民祈福吧！

我们在世界的这一角，忙忙碌碌读书，舒舒服服坐在电脑前上网，轻轻松松逛街去。。。可知道在世界的某一个角落正在上演着地动天摇的天灾，人祸哪？？每一天，每一时，每一刻，在我们根本就不知情的情况下，有人因这些天灾而失去家园，失去性命。

过去几天，中国甘肃省舟曲县发生了泥石流，你知道否？这是近十年来最严重的泥石流！上百条人命就这样丢失了，上万人受灾。刚被大地震洗礼的汶川县，好不容易在重建了，现在又被强降雨袭击，再次陷入一片愁云惨雾当中。。。 一次又一次的重创，眼泪，都已流干了。

这些灾难不会因为人的悲求而停止，而会继续越来越频繁的发生，甚至到已数不清的速度在发生着。世界末日真的要来了吗？ 我不知道。我只知道，当我读到这段经节时，我，打了个冷颤，仿佛耶稣的预言正在成真着：

“耶稣在橄榄山上坐着，门徒暗暗地来说，
请告诉我们，什么时候有这些事？
你降临和世界的末了，有什么预兆呢？
耶稣回答说，你们要谨慎，免得有人迷惑你们。
因为将来有好些人冒我的名来，说，我是基督，并且要迷惑许多人。
你们也要听见打仗和打仗的风声，总不要惊慌。因为这些事是必须有的。只是末期还没有到。
民要攻打民，国要攻打国。多处必有饥荒，地震。
这都是灾难的起头。（灾难原文作生产之难）。 ”

马太福音24：4-8

曾听过一个牧师的比喻，如果把耶稣再来的日子比喻成从居銮驾车到吉隆坡，现在车子应该以行驶到了Sg Besi tol了。再过一下下就到吉隆坡了！根据天灾发生的速度，在核对圣经的预言，真的快了！末日虽要来到，耶稣的救恩从未停止过。 每到最后一刻，祂的救恩是不会停止的。

不管什么宗教，放下你的工作，花几分钟为舟曲的灾民祈福祷告吧！

忙碌？盲碌？

忙忙碌碌，
生活过的这么的忙碌，
但忙碌过后，
学习到了什么？
吸收到了多少？
还真是个未知数。
会不会我的忙碌变成了盲碌？
真的开始了，
光学越来越不好随便混混而已了！


眨眼间，
时间就流逝了。
但必须忙里偷闲，
争取休息的时间啊~！
还是睡觉好了~！

Sista's convo~!

My convocation?hahaha=) stil have to wait for 2 more yrs~>.<

Went to sister's convo yesterday~Indeed it was an exciting moment~!Took Monorail to KL central and took KTM from KL central to Bangi....When I was wondering how effective of the ladies' coach of KTM...Haha..Then I heard the guard shouted, "jika jangan dibelasah wanita, keluar sekarang!" Was pleased with their strici action.However, right after the next station arrived, men started to squeeze in~haiz.....I wondered is those men blind kah?can see the ladie's coach is actually pink colour with diff language of labelling......haiz....>.<

ANyway..had a wonderful time in convo yesterday.Thx to wei ren & wei ping who purposely passed by as they are going for duty in convo.hehe...finally my sis graduate o~COngrats~^^

Mary~!^^

HAha~both of them passed by for duty convo actually~but thx for their support~!^^

Yay~family photo~finally~!

不值钱的承诺

当一个人没有兑现承诺，且变得一文不值的时候，到底该怎么做？上一次被遗忘的痛，我到现在还隐约感受到，我不需要在经历第二次。。自己寻找不到人陪伴的时候， 是真的很孤单， 尤其曾应许过你的人留下。或许是形式所逼吧，或许是有心无意，或许。。。我已不想知道。一次的伤口那么深了，就算忘记了，痊愈了，那疤痕还是会永远烙在那里。。这一次，我会选择相信我的partner ，可能她不是故意的。。问清楚才不会冤枉到她。尽管如此，其实，这小小小的烙印，已经在我心了。不怪任何人，就是自然形成的啦。

被遗忘真的不好受。

3rd year?

Im goin into 4th week of my 3rd year life...How time flies~!!I dont even have time to breathe...18 credit hours supposingly to be more relaxing..how come like 28 credit hours??Anyway..I really need understanding now for my courses...I need good and fast turning brain to apply everything i had learnt in yr 1 & 2....Really really stressed out...

At such a time like this...

I think I should.....

唉！

你们猜这束小熊花多少钱？那小小熊真的很小而已哦。。

真难过！我觉得我又被骗了也~还沾沾自喜的以为找到了最好的价格的小熊花，谁知道， 在我正要离开时，突然发现转角处摆着更大个的毕业熊熊。真的好好奇，趋前一问，啊，心痛极了~比我那自以为很便宜的那一束还要大而便宜~！！！简单来说，我又被砍菜头了！唉。。真的很讨厌我自己也。。为什么一直被人骗?刘恺娴啊，难道你不能学精明一点吗？？买什么都被人家坑。。。真气我自己！这一次，钱感觉上花多了，不值得的熊熊，没关系，我难过的是，姐的毕业只有一次，我这样都无法为他找到最好最大的毕业熊熊。。。唉，欲哭无泪了。。

唉，一直好想把你的话当真，虽然我知道，你只是开玩笑的。所以说嘛，玩笑不能乱开嘛！@@

Dedication.

It is not easy to go through,
my desire and my commitment to God
bear the pain,
bear the team,
bear the social network.
hang on ...
have breakthrough,
truly surrender to Him.
coz i yearn
what's going to happen.

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

你真的吓了我一跳，差一点让我心脏快跳出来了！你一直这样开这种玩笑，我会受不了的！==”如果真有什么如果，怎么办好？唉，真是服了你！

Junior Welcoming Night~

Yesterday had a great time in CF junior welcoming night..Praise God for so many juniors actually turned up for the event despite super duper heavy rain.....=) They are so open, so cute and look still fresh~hahaha=) It's just a blessing from God that He has sent so many junior to UKMKL this year!Revival~Revival~Revival~!!^^

Suprise!

Today I tried to open a door for a junior who left her key inside...tried to open the window and climbed in but not succeed.Thus, I left lo..Little did I know, later in noon, I saw that junior walked past with her family...I saw someone familiar~Eh, he's my ex primary sch mate!!

"Don't tell me she is your sister?"(wat a silly question!)
"Ya la, she is my sister lo!Do take care of her!" Hahahaha =)

I mean ...the world is so small...k, wrong words..KTSN is so small..
The junior I tried to help in the morning turn out to be my ex sch mate's sister..and it has been a long time I didnt meet him lo..kind of suprise to see him in KTSN..

So, is this co-incidence?AT first i would answer "YES"..but after thinking back, I think "NOPE"..This is not a coincidence~everything happens for a purpose!

Im going to win you over, Janet, so that you can win your brother over~!^^

忙~

开始了我的第三年。现在已经进入第三天了。功课，作业，lab以排山倒海而来，压得我喘不过气了。咳~！好忙好忙啊！要兼顾的不只如此，要操心的还有更多。。对这个学期的期待开始化成了恐惧，我，应付得来吗？？唉！真想倒在床上，拉起被子，什么都别想了~

Back From MMP~!

Finally I have finished my duty as an PC in Minggu mesra pelajar~woah~It is a much more tougher job comparing to last year,where i was just a PC BSMM who slept all day long in BSMM room~lol=) Seriously lack of sleep,body aches,but still have to be the most semangat ppl to the juniors..WHY?becauze the juniors are quite passive and not sporting la!rily kena pissed off sometimes~don't mean to shout but...sometimes they just too degil edi..dont listen,not sporting..However,towards the end,they finally got lil bit changes le gua~hopefully~

Being a PC for 2nd yr,I would say that Im not regret at all~In fact,I enjoyed it~although have to listen to the same ceramah for 3 times(exactly the sam=="),meet angkasawan 3 times, Sleep in DECTAR many many times,DECTAR is the best place to sleep for all the PCs...I truly enjoyed la~Though there were conflicts bet PCs,I couldn't care less as I just want to be a PC tat serve and...Scold ppl!lol!=)

Till the end,those PCs who appear every morning till the night..the juniors wont really remember.normally they will just remember those funny PCs who can bring up the atmosphere.bit sad la,frankly,when juniors cant recognise but I had realised that PC is actually a job without asking for return(except the merit la=p),if it is not due to the passion and commitment...soon,will burnt out le~Thank God i'm still alive~hahaha=)

It's a good experience lo~Very tired but enjoyed!Many ppl ask me, does it worth to sacrifice ur holiday to become PCs?susah susah,tak cukup tidur,eat sucks,body aches..hmm..i would say tat,it WORTH!coz I have learnt so much in it and that is another interesting page of my uni life story book~lol~

没关系！

告诉自己，没关系，没关系，别太在乎，因为要忙的事情太多了！哪有时间理会啊！对啊，早已习惯了吧！就在这个时候。再多的努力改变有时也改变不了已成定局的事实。只有神能介入才能有转机。等到我无法再坚持的一天，或许，我会选择放弃。但至少我非常肯定，耶稣这个朋友是不会远离或放弃我的。现在，我还是一只打不死的小强！（阿麦，对不起，借用你的名）^^

复兴之夜

今晚我见证了一个新生命的诞生，就在今天的“RevivalNight"。一位姐妹踏出了勇敢信心的一步，接受主了。好感动，神感动了她的心，克服了她的种种恐惧，也好奇妙神的安排。这好像是我第一次亲自见证这美好的一刻。我想天上的所有天使都在欢庆着每一条被拯救的生命！赞美主！丽湘，我想告诉你，神与你同在，不必害怕，我们一起努力！加油~

迎新周来咯！

迎新周即将开始了。回到了吉隆坡，就开始了准备工作。。这次我被分配到了福立组（有是福立组！）执勤。听起来还想不错啊，但PAP那次的福立组我真的是做到心有余悸～拿着热脸贴人家冷屁股@@ 但这次阿，还蛮多准备工作的。住宿啊，ｐｃ　的福利，学生的，好多啦！不过还蛮期待的～基本上，我的服务对象是ＰＣ　们。他们照顾学生，我照顾他们咯！哈哈！

但是，再回来之前，竟然喉咙痛了起来～！或许是假期是大吃大喝吧！多少有点活该的成分～哈！喉咙痛就算了，接踵而来竟是一整个配套－－痛好些了，唉，又流起了鼻水，流完鼻水，变成鼻涕～知道分别吗？？黄青的是鼻涕～哈哈～！可以预见通常的配套还包括了发烧，咳嗽。。。ｃｈｏｉ！不要了～到鼻涕这阶段就够了吧～！不能在送我配套了~！不然，我这个福利给予援都不能照顾自己咯~伤风发烧咳嗽喉咙痛，统统给我走得远远的！！！

准备就绪后，出发！

两星期后见！

Heart preparation

First night back to KTSN..sitting in this room again.so comfortable...hehe=)

Well, i don't know what'll happen tomoro's meeting.Just let it be.Take what it offers..Have to prepare the heart for coming sem.New perspective,greater expectation,more burden,with everlasting love.I know, I have to, I must overcome~!

嘻哈牧师-Jaeson Ma

To someone special~ 0 Foo 0 0~^^

Blessed birthday to you, my dear Lynn~!

You are a very special friend a.k.a ji mui a.k.a sister a.k.a teacher to me.I still remember when I left Kluang for uni,aunty Sze prayed a prayer for me,she prayed that God will send a godly sister to be my companion in the city of KL.and I thank God that He really answered the prayer.God has sent you---> my dear friend.

I can't describe the closeness of heart we shared through Christ,to be accountable to each other in this cold cold KTSN,to continue to hang on for the fire of God, the vision we shared and the craziness we had together with our beloved gang members~every experience that we had will be the beautiful memory in my mind...=)

I dont know how i appreciate your presence...how blessed I am.I thank God for you, my dear friend.I thank God that you always appear while im in need, your prayer, your support, your laughter....I really thank God.I hope that our relationship will be just like David & Jonathan, the covenantal relationship which will never end.

Now, you are turning 21 lo~finally adult at last!hope that you will continue to be wat you be~happy always,3 8 wif us always, and continue to grow in the Lord as well~!God bless you my dear!

shock~

wow~it has been scary for past three days.due to the name list that is being released in FB..my name was not mentioned in the list for the camp in terengganu at all~!how come??so started to thhink...why?why?why some ppl's name not on it?is it becoz we told office we are not sure?is it dr Rxxxxe dun like us?kick us out?wats d reasons??Ahh...really cant sleep well...praying tat nothing changes in this last min...
Thank God,
just got the news that those names not in the list are still PCs..i dunno why our names not on it.anyway,we still need to go back as others..just to get ourselves ready...though i not sure wat will happen to us....but I really thank GOd that i havent lost this chance..=)

姐去了马六甲受训，家里只剩下我了。。晚上躺在床上想起一起和她七嘴八舌到睡觉的时候，还真想念！哈哈！唉，不管怎样，我也即将离开我舒适的窝，回到吉隆坡了啦。既兴奋又惆怅。。。

吴健豪--蜕变的重生

今天读到了吴健豪的专访。从流星花园其迅速窜红至今已经十年了。他坦诚，他红得太快了，曾经迷失自己，曾经不知所措，想要逃离演艺圈，返回美国沉淀自己。直到他信主了，他的人生观改变了。年少时的血气方刚已不复见，取而代之的，就是受洗后的重生（报纸的标题是这么写的）。学习了如何依靠神的力量，指引的方向前进，他不再迷茫了，不再慌张了，而是充满了喜乐与平安。在五光十色的演艺圈，他并没有再迷失方向了。他把在去年在演艺圈的漂亮的成绩单归功于上帝的照耀，父母的关怀，感恩拥有的一切。

“对于我信仰主后选择禁欲或不再喝酒等，内心反而换来更多的满足。” 吴健豪

幸福可以很简单，但内心的喜乐和平安是受主蒙恩；

在这罪的世界里 ，蜕变的重生是神迹的最好见证！

愿上帝祝福正在阅读的你。=)

发现。自己

这个假期，发现很多不为人知的自己。
发现了一直以来
以为一定是“定数”，其实到头来只是个“未知数”
以为的" 非常" ，其实也只是" so-so“ 而已
以为的“肯定”，其实也不过是“不一定”
人们常说，时间是个最好的考验。
果然，
这个假期，我认清了自己。

狂想曲

昨天阅读报纸，读到了一对夫妻，为了完成环游世界的梦想，努力存钱，存了RM23000，花了两年时间，毅然驾车上路，足迹踏遍了无数的国家，勇气十足阿！这把我沉睡的梦想再次唤醒了~（是狂想吧？~哈哈）嘿嘿~不知要有多大的勇气，多少的财力，多少的精力，多少时间，遇到对的旅伴才能开始我的背包旅行？

如果有机会，
我一定会踏足

埃及，探索法老的神秘。
希腊，感受亚历山大帝国的伟大
中国，紫禁城的宏伟
罗马，凯撒大帝的帝国
马丘比丘，玛雅文明，苏美文化，百慕达三角洲。。

那么的多
曾经辉煌，曾经称霸世界的古文明国家
如今留下的
无限遗憾。

心寒

今天阅读了报纸，读到一则新闻，一名年轻女学生半夜独自驾着车回家，途中无辜被迎面而来的轿车碰撞，随而撞击紧接着的罗里，起火燃烧。女生猛拍车窗求救，但由于火势过猛，民众无法接近。于是一位先生赶紧驱车前往最近的油站接灭火器，谁知，油站职员竟见死不救！四支灭火器竟一支也不肯借！那先生气疯了，回到现场时，只能眼睁睁看着女生烧死了。消防车来到已为时已晚了。读了报道顿时一阵愤怒，人命关天，为什么油站职员不肯借出灭火器？这世界上人性的冷漠真的是太恐怖了！竟然自扫门前雪，别人死活与自己无关。心寒啊！

Praise the Lord!

Lord,what can I say but to praise You!My heart not strong but You gave me such a suprise!I dont care how excellent others can get,Im already overwhelmed by the grace that You have poured out to me.Its far far beyond my expectation....And I thank You,truly from the bottom of my heart.Thank You,Lord.=)

成绩放榜

再过不到多少个小时，成绩就要放榜了。稍稍的紧张。。因为我知道上学期表现得真的很不理想，甚至有点惨不忍睹啊。。呵呵。。但是都已经过了，好或坏，都必须勇敢接受吧。。。感恩的心。

fourth day

This is the fourth day...
The pain still there..so tight,just like going to tear my muscle apart sometimes..
cannot sneeze,if not i scared my eyball will come out>.cannot have large expression, if not the string will become tighter
cannot read books,if the words too small.no,not even newspaper..(but a friend encouraged me make use of listening~)

Have to be patient..I know.
Get something done then.
It is not an excuse to stop serving you,Lord.

我到底是不是太过冲动，做错决定了？

天下父母心

今天我舅舅回来了。那两个小表弟，好久不见了。我的大表弟，永安，是个痉挛儿童，六岁了，只能站，不能走。坐着就大喊，不然就不停地吃手，口水直流，涂满满脸。。。照顾了他一个小时，我已精疲力尽，我也已经满身口水了。安安手抓到什么就吃什么，不停地喊叫，我的头发都给他抓落几把了。。突然，很大的感伤。六年了，我舅舅舅母是如何度过的？怎么样照顾着小表弟？父母亲的爱真能够战胜一切。。突然好佩服好佩服他们。。照顾一个普通的小孩已不易了，更何况是一个永远不能理解你说什么，只会喊和哭的小孩。

阿娴人情味-美食探路之二 – Taman Paramount + SS2

今天探子们前往PJ 地带搜寻美食。多了一人，少了摄影师探子。战战兢兢的心情，因为大家都对那地带不熟。知道PJ大到要命，深怕只要一迷路就不得了了。但是，感谢上帝，我们顺利地找到了第一摊槟城猪肠粉～老板要心情我们吃哦。。正好，我们都还没吃早餐，而得要命！

接着，就真正地开始探索了。寻找猪杂面。。。走啊走啊，好远以后，终于让我们看见了～老板娘好没礼貌，不理我们。有点气节。但为了采访，只好厚着脸皮，叫了一碗拍照。其实我对那碗满是猪内脏的咚咚一点兴趣也没有，裔晶探子倒是很有兴趣哦～

误打误撞又上了一辆巴士，婉转了好久好久，终于到了ＳＳ２．．一路走来，哇塞！真是太幸福了！单单是第一家的潮州肉骨茶就让ｊｅｎｎｉｆｅｒ　和裔晶探子兴奋得要命～！但是那真是我吃过最好吃的肉骨茶咧！呵呵～

同一条路，我们就从路头吃到路尾。吃的肚子要爆了！真的是太幸福了～ＰＪ　老板们真的不一样，听到来采访都显得很紧张，急忙煮出一大堆招牌让我们拍，拍了吃～ｗｏｗ～！吃不完，含打包呢！哈哈～我想。。我的脂肪又累计多一圈了吧～

满足了肚子，裔晶探子大喊，“太受不了了！今天。。吃猪肉吃到怕～！接下来一个月不吃猪肉了！”在等着的士去地铁站时，突然一辆巴士驶入那条路，我们兴奋得跳上巴士～因为那巴士正是我想搭但不知去哪儿搭呢！上了巴士，一位大叔说，“你们真好命，今天这司机心情好到突然驶进这条路，平时他不会近来这条路的。半路拦截巴士还会被他骂！”当下，我只感觉到神真的很眷顾我们，一路保守着我们～嘻嘻︿︿

阿娴人情味—美食探路之一：茨厂街

十一时开始了我们的探路~这次有幸邀请了kokwai 当摄影师和jennifer妹妹陪我同行~

探子妹妹~
仗义相助探子摄影师国威

搭上了不知名的巴士，我们到了masjid jamek。走着走着，竟然在路上被我们碰见了一间本来不打算访问的牛肉丸店也（因为。。不晓得路嘛！）哈哈～太感谢主了！老板缅碘地介绍着他们的招牌牛肉丸～热情的老板给我们拍照后，把用来拍摄的食物请我们吃也！嘻嘻。。

探子们继续往茨厂街前进！手持着地图，努力找着路，到最后才发现，开口问路最简单！到了离街厂不远的茶餐室，我们想访问一饼家，无奈老板娘忙到无法招呼我们。就算供我们糕饼拍照也限时５秒，放下不到五秒就收回，怎么拍？无法提供我们好的拍摄场景，或许。。我会牺牲他们的介绍。（别怪我～版位有限）

终于我们踏入了茨厂街，今天的主角！好，那就跟着计划前进，慢慢找寻多达１０档的道地美食。。走走吃吃，吃吃走走。永远好生意的龙眼清凉茶，豆水，ｈｏｃｈａｋ的咖哩角摊，很酷的番薯蛋老板，“国际化”的喜饼店老板，不理人的冠记云吞面，传统猪肠粉。。原来，茨厂街美食处处～！

有些老板对来介绍他们的美食的我显得紧张，频频大方给我们拍照，有的，潇洒得很，懒得理我们。探子们边走边拍，边拍边吃，不亦乐乎！顶着大热天，来来回回穿梭于街厂，东寻西找，务必把所有摊位找齐～有些看似不起眼，邋邋遢遢的老店，卖的食物还真是美味无比！

例如王金莲记的猪肠粉，据说是街厂猪肠粉的始祖哦～简简单单，无加料的白肠粉，加上了特制酱汁，传统的味道，随即传入心里。些许的感动，老板还坚持着这传统的味道。

经过了一番折腾了，探子们终于！完成了大多数的任务了～感激探子摄影师ｋｏｋ　ｗａｉ　和　探子妹妹　ｊｅｎｎｉｆｅｒ　的鼎力拔刀相助～嘻嘻～

我的第一天~

今天开始了我的工作。只身搭地铁前往安邦，所幸我的前roommate洁莹 是安邦人，热心的载我到找寻美食。。其实啊，这份工并没有想象中那么简单哦！走了好一段路，才发现我想采访的阿婆菠菜板面其实没开。。书本指示的方向又错误。。。

但是很庆幸的是在两位安邦大叔的指引下，终于找到了我的第一滩--亚x海鲜面~老板忙得没时间理我，表明了我的身份后，还是一样。哈哈~那就叫一碗来尝尝吧！~超大份的。。一碗汤面加一碗海鲜汤--十元。。两个人都塞不下。。惨了，接下来还有两摊呢！

到了安邦西刀鱼圆摊，老板满友善的招待，吩咐员工煮了不同的鱼圆面供我拍照（可能。。。那时候没什么生意吧！哈哈！）还坐下来和我聊天~幸好他不收我钱，不然这样吃法我可真要破产了~

最后到了最出名的安邦酿豆腐！~高朋满座啊！好不容易找到位子坐下，点了一盘酿豆腐拍照~（其实，我还是觉得我妈咪的酿豆腐比较好吃>.<) 大伙都好忙哦，忙到必须用麦克风下单~真特别！海鲜面还没消化呢。。所以，嘿嘿，打包回家咯~

给阿姨看了我拍的照片，好像不是很满意也。。但我虚心受教吧~难免有点失落。。懊恼着。好，就朝下一摊再出发罗~我工作的第一天，虚！

预备，开始！

我又回到了吉隆坡。。。这一次，我将执行一份差事，那就是帮我做记者的阿姨在吉隆坡搜罗美食！看似简单的工作，其实，并没有想象中容易哦！尤其对于每天除了学校，教会以外，只会去timesq,sgwang 而已的我，更显得挑战。除了茨厂街。还要必须找寻jalan alor,jalan pudu,ampang PJ的美食。。单单收集咨询都好头痛了。还要以最省钱的方法找到最多的摊子。所以我的原则 : 希望的士能免则免，尽量用十一号巴士带路（正好可以燃烧掉我在沙捞越累积的脂肪吧！），在最少天内完成工作。。但很感恩的是，我得到了一些好朋友的帮助。不管是当向导，或是陪伴我同行，我都感恩不尽，让我对这份工作充满了期待哦，一起探索大马，这个美食天堂！加油加油！！

Visit to HOPE KLUANG

Went to HOPE KLUANG yesterday for the first time...Well, I got lost as the area i was not familiar ....Therefore I was late for 25 minutes lo~

Anyway, its great to join the service...Everyone was so friendly and I could feel the bond between the members there. Was encouraged by a sister's testimony, by a teenage girl, ke-er, a girl who was once a dai kar jie in the sch....That's what she said ，“读书考试我不行，打架我最行。”Indulged in fighting, even till the edge of commiting suicide, she was drawn back by a dear teacher who invited her to care group, who slowly had her life changed. From the picture that she showed to us,she is totally a changed person! Amazed by God's grace & work in her life!^^Soon after her presence,the caregroup grew from 1 person to 9 people!When God wants to work,nobody can stop,right?=)

Wonderful Sarawak Trip!

Just came back from Sarawak!~

It has been a very wonderfull trip for me and had lots of fun with our coursemates!~From Sibu to Kuching....We had lots of shocking first times...We are just like the super food tour ..... stopped everywhere, ate everywhere! All I could say is Sarawak is really full of different local delicacies!^^

Thanks to Derrie for hosting us so dearly in Sibu~kek lapis ah,kong pia,teng beng hu,even home cooking~wow~just so delicious!of course,cant forget about the incident at pintu gerbang Sibu~which is really an "eye opener" for me!!got me a shock==""

at Derrie's house..

There was another big shock in Sibu airport!Few of our friends' flight was ordered wrongly due to careless mistake of the counter gal...Got everyone nervous...Thank God, they still managed to get on board after buying new tickets...though the price already doubled,no choices...

There we landed on Kuching!We are so blessed to have our dearest coursemates, May & David as our tourguides~Thanks to May's friend Lester for driving us around too~^^They really did plan well~We managed to go every single tourist spots,Damai beach,cultural village,orang

at fort margerita

utan,crocodile farm,waterfront....etc....Though tired of travelling,but worth it! We are so amazed by David for his "capability" of telling us story wherever we go~hahaha=) true false true false true true false...Whatever true or false, he brought lots of fun to us~=p

visiting cultural village

watching orang utan at semenggoh

So as May & Lester, host us so dearly and brought us to taste almost every good food in Kuching!haha=) go lo mee, tomato noodles, Balacan mee hon which is super wangi *^,seafood, and different kinds of ice~I still miss them so much la~Not forgetting the pisang and may's mummy specially made bai guo gan...wow...thinking bout it will make my saliva fall....hahaha=)

This is a wonderful trip as I would say.I'll miss the time we had fun together o~^^

Done?Not yet?

Praise God~
Finally the troublesome matter settled edi...Thank God!That means I can go for both PC camp & Sarawak Trip lo~^^

Cert is done
Card is done
Room not yet tidy
Job not yet certain...
Laptop not yet buy.....

Done & Not Yet Done.....

Anyway,I can forsee that I will have a fruitful holiday~!

Afterexam effect

Life After exam....

Seems to be more hectic than before...Everything clash together...Hopefully can sort it out~

No matter how, start the holiday with playing ...hahaha=)

Then, should settle serious matter lo....Quite troublesome and headache...

And...I just want to go home.

Learn to say "No"

My friends said Im very easily got cheated ( which I thought is true)...From the experience i oways share with them, from my laptop,handphone till the saloon...WHY is it so?hmm..Am I too innocent?Am I trusting ppl too easily?Am I can be persuaded too easily by people?Well, all of these possibilities are high but I think there's another possibilty that always made me fall into dilemma.. that is --> soft hearted ==" I do not want to but I just cant help sometimes la....Do not assume that this is good as sometimes this heart can really drag me...T.T NO matter is I paiseh want to say no or Im very easily being persuaded la....Really have to learn to say "No" le......

Condolences

Got knew of two of my friends' grandmothers passed away almost at the same time.Though I know, life and death are a normal and necessary cycle for all human beings to pass through,the grief and sorrow still cant be shed away so easily.The pain of losing loved ones, especially when they were not being saved, it is a very sorrowful things.I couldnt bear to imagine...Deepest condolences to them...

Life only travels once, some short, some long, what matters is the meaning and zeal that we brighten up our lives.

Memorable moment~

Finally,I managed to share the testimony today..SO nervous as today Service chaired by Pastor,Praise& worship lead by another Pastor, and Sharing by another Pastor from australia ...wa...such a "Pastory" SUnday service and me, a little member had to share my little and simple testimony!~

BUt thank God for He had made everything smooth~NO stutter,and the moment was just filled with joy~^^Praise God~=) AT that moment,how I wished that my parent were sitting down there listening to how God changed my life...

I was actually at my witness' for today's testimony sharing~but God made a turn for me...and He has turned what I been facing past few days into testimony~hehe~Thank God for that~!I would say that today's testimony sharing is a sharing of my encounter with God in this exam period of time and experience of His faithfulness~

It is a "to be continued" testimony~It was a memorable moment for me,as a representation of my walk with God...^^I hope when I have chance to share again,I would testify how God actually see me through~!